About forty years ago I was involved in a love triangle. What I didn’t know was that I had been carefully chosen by the crazy woman, whose intention was to get back at her husband, who was actively engaged in playing the field. Her objective, as it became abundantly clear, was to set up a situation whereby he would kill me in a fit of rage, or that I would kill him in self-defence. Either way, the outcome would have been acceptable to her.
It’s forty years later and I am still really annoyed at Carmen. I also learned my lesson because I cannot blame only her. However, for a time I thought that I had discovered the Holy Grail of affection. God! She was so convincing. I thought that she truly loved me. What a dope I was.
Let’s set the record straight: I am not trying to justify my involvement in someone else’s marriage. I invaded another man’s marriage, or to put it more correctly I was enthusiastically invited in by his wife. I should have known it was too good to be true. My sense of morality screamed at me to “back off!” But she was determined, I was flattered, and I listened only to my head, the one without the brain, and it nearly got me killed.
As a man, if we desire another man’s wife and we enter into a secret affair with her, I don’t know why we don’t think that one day it’s not going to come back on us. One day, when we least expect it, Karma will do its thing and it will be our turn to suffer hurt and indignation. Whether you’re Prince Charles or any lesser mortal, Karma doesn’t care. When we invade another’s marriage we disrespect the man, his family, particularly the woman, and especially ourselves.
It takes two people who at least suspend their morality and integrity to do that tango. There was much discussion about the marriage between Charles and Camilla. Was it proper that they marry? Well, who else? They deserve each other.
I look back at my own experience and I thought it was justified at the time. After all, I knew what her husband was doing. What I didn’t know was the complete story. I didn’t know what was driving him to find love in the arms of complete strangers, and with that lack of knowledge I judged him and gave myself an excuse.
But, I was wrong to interfere. Certainly he should have handled his problems differently than the way he did, but it was none of my business. My best friend was distraught over my involvement. He warned me that it could only end in tears, or worse, but I didn’t listen although I knew he was right.
When she was ready she set the scene. As I think about it I am amazed at how methodical and cool she was. What must she have been thinking as the hour approached. She made me so comfortable in her bed that I lost all track of time until he attacked me. He was as outraged as you might expect, having come home to find another man in his bed with his naked wife. I fought back because my life was on the line. Back and forth went the battle throughout the house, and we made a bloody mess of everything.
Finally we found ourselves in the kitchen. We were both bleeding so we didn’t really need a place filled with cutting things, but there we were. I was naked so there was nothing to stem my blood loss. Just as if there was a bad script, I slipped on the blood and fell backward onto the butcher’s block that stood in the middle of the room. As if by magic a meat cleaver appeared in his hand and was raised up high above his head where it caught the light. That’s when I stopped struggling, closed my eyes, and waited for the steel to bite.
He apparently hesitated. Then we were both startled to hear her scream from the doorway, “Kill Him!” We both then knew we were victims of an elaborate plot. Unwittingly she saved my life. So he and I united against her in his divorce petition.
The moral of the story is based on the ethic of reciprocity and the Golden Rule: Do nothing to someone else that you would not want done to you; and “Don’t go a round with another man’s wife unless you are ready to go ten rounds with him.” (Anonymous)
Is it ever justified to have an affair with a married woman who is living with her husband? Let me know your thoughts on this topic at eugene.spain@gmail.com
It’s forty years later and I am still really annoyed at Carmen. I also learned my lesson because I cannot blame only her. However, for a time I thought that I had discovered the Holy Grail of affection. God! She was so convincing. I thought that she truly loved me. What a dope I was.
Let’s set the record straight: I am not trying to justify my involvement in someone else’s marriage. I invaded another man’s marriage, or to put it more correctly I was enthusiastically invited in by his wife. I should have known it was too good to be true. My sense of morality screamed at me to “back off!” But she was determined, I was flattered, and I listened only to my head, the one without the brain, and it nearly got me killed.
As a man, if we desire another man’s wife and we enter into a secret affair with her, I don’t know why we don’t think that one day it’s not going to come back on us. One day, when we least expect it, Karma will do its thing and it will be our turn to suffer hurt and indignation. Whether you’re Prince Charles or any lesser mortal, Karma doesn’t care. When we invade another’s marriage we disrespect the man, his family, particularly the woman, and especially ourselves.
It takes two people who at least suspend their morality and integrity to do that tango. There was much discussion about the marriage between Charles and Camilla. Was it proper that they marry? Well, who else? They deserve each other.
I look back at my own experience and I thought it was justified at the time. After all, I knew what her husband was doing. What I didn’t know was the complete story. I didn’t know what was driving him to find love in the arms of complete strangers, and with that lack of knowledge I judged him and gave myself an excuse.
But, I was wrong to interfere. Certainly he should have handled his problems differently than the way he did, but it was none of my business. My best friend was distraught over my involvement. He warned me that it could only end in tears, or worse, but I didn’t listen although I knew he was right.
When she was ready she set the scene. As I think about it I am amazed at how methodical and cool she was. What must she have been thinking as the hour approached. She made me so comfortable in her bed that I lost all track of time until he attacked me. He was as outraged as you might expect, having come home to find another man in his bed with his naked wife. I fought back because my life was on the line. Back and forth went the battle throughout the house, and we made a bloody mess of everything.
Finally we found ourselves in the kitchen. We were both bleeding so we didn’t really need a place filled with cutting things, but there we were. I was naked so there was nothing to stem my blood loss. Just as if there was a bad script, I slipped on the blood and fell backward onto the butcher’s block that stood in the middle of the room. As if by magic a meat cleaver appeared in his hand and was raised up high above his head where it caught the light. That’s when I stopped struggling, closed my eyes, and waited for the steel to bite.
He apparently hesitated. Then we were both startled to hear her scream from the doorway, “Kill Him!” We both then knew we were victims of an elaborate plot. Unwittingly she saved my life. So he and I united against her in his divorce petition.
The moral of the story is based on the ethic of reciprocity and the Golden Rule: Do nothing to someone else that you would not want done to you; and “Don’t go a round with another man’s wife unless you are ready to go ten rounds with him.” (Anonymous)
Is it ever justified to have an affair with a married woman who is living with her husband? Let me know your thoughts on this topic at eugene.spain@gmail.com
Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael
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