Bill Clinton, John Prescott, Chris Tarrant, David Beckham, and Jeffrey Archer all have several things in common. They are wealthy, powerful, influential, and intelligent men, and at the same time amazingly naive for having thought that they could have extra martial affairs without their wives, (and just about everybody else in the world) finding out. As Bill Clinton famously and allegedly said to Monica Lewinsky, “but Monica, who in the world is going to know? “
No one has ever had a successful affair of any duration without putting about all sorts of clues for their significant other to find. This is based on the fact that one person can only be in one place at one time. There are spouses who will say they had no idea, but the clues were there for them to pick up. Whether they chose to do so is another matter. In fact, there are probably some wives who are actually grateful for the other woman, because she takes care of “that” unpleasant aspect of the marriage.
This is the way it has always been, and so it will continue until the science of human cloning is perfected.
I am always amazed at how the wives cope with the exposure in the headlines that their husbands have been sleeping around. Never I have known it to be the other way round. Usually, the couple appear in front of the cameras, arm in arm, he looking sheepish, and the wife gives the news briefing:
. “ My husband and I have discussed the situation, and in light of the many years we have invested in each other we have decided to stay together and work out our problems. I have forgiven my husband his mistakes and indiscretions, and now I hope that members of the public will do the same, and afford us the privacy we need to heal.”
Nice! Dignified! Unreal! (What she is really saying is that my husband has had his last bit of sex, unless with himself, this side of the next millennium.)
To get real I have a scenario that will require a Naomi Campbell -type of personality. (Preferably not Naomi herself. We don’t need that much reality.)
In my little playlet, Edward, a conservative Englishman will play the role of husband, who marries a beautiful model like our Naomi. Edward’s wife is known simply as “Em”. They marry and Em is successful at her career, and Edward goes into politics where he rises quite quickly through the ranks, landing an important Ministerial post. His fellow male MPs greatly admire him, particularly for what they call his trophy wife.
As Edward matures and occupies himself with dull matters of State he begins to wish that Em was able to converse with him on the subjects that matter to him. She, however is into fashions and such like. Along comes Melanie, political correspondent for The Times to interview our Edward. Melanie is knowledgeable, witty, warm, and very, very beautiful. Unwisely, the pair of them embark upon a love affair. From the moment it begins Em notices the difference and decides to hire a private detective to see, as she put it, “ what that fool thinks he’s doing.”
Inevitably the news hits the front page, and the media do their camping-out thing, waiting for a Statement. Meanwhile, Melanie has given an interview saying that Edward will divorce his wife and the two of them will move to Canada and start a new life together.
After several days of media harassment, Em decides it’s time to speak up. She comes out of the house with Edward at her side looking every inch the model.
First she gives the media a good ticking off, calling them vultures, a pack of wolves, and worse.
“ My husband Edward, by his own admission entered into a foolish affair with some Bimbo named Melanie. He says that he doesn’t know what he was thinking, and he has apologised to me and has committed to earning my forgiveness. Now this Melanie person is saying that he and she will be going off on their own: Well, Ms. Thing, you will not be going anywhere with my husband. He’s my husband so you can just take your big butt and hit the road. And one other thing girlfriend: If I happen to accidentally on purpose bump into you, I hope no one expects me to behave myself. After you so blatantly invaded my marriage and disrespected what I was trying to achieve, girl, I will knock you into next week!!!
Now, that’s real!
Is it possible to have a long-term extra-marital relationship without your wife having a clue? What do you think? I don’t expect you to admit to doing this, just tell me if you think it’s possible. E-mail me at eugene.spain@gmail.com
Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael
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