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Saturday, July 24, 2010

How Times have Changed




How Times have Changed for today's Grandfathers

I am a Great Grandfather to Cherrae, the daughter of my Grandson, Ramon. He didn’t warn me that something was coming that was going to knock me off my feet, and by definition would change my status in the world forever, so when it happened it knocked me off my feet. I have not yet met my Great Granddaughter because she lives between Bermuda and America, and I live in Spain, but I will some day.

I recall how mysterious my grandparents were to me. I only got to meet two of them, my grandmother, (my father’s mother) and my mother’s father. They seemed so ancient to me, and I was so totally awed by them that absolute respect was all that I could possibly accord them.

I remember when my Grandmother died. She was lain in repose in her house, a very sombre and dark place, and she was carried off to be buried in a horse-drawn hearse that was black and high off the ground with giant feathers. I was terrified that death was a thing of punishment.

Now, I am the second oldest ranking member of our family and I am the Great Grandfather. When I do get to share some quality time with Cherrae I can only imagine that she will see me as someone who is as old as time itself, although I am the 2010 version of a 71 year old. The story I have to tell her will go something like this:

“Cherrae, how old are you? I’m five years old Great Grandpa. Well, that’s very good because you are just beginning your life. I am 71 years of age, so that means I have lived 66 more years than you. During that time a lot of things have happened that have changed my life, not always for the better, but the one thing that has been constant is change itself.

I know that you are a little young to understand fully what I am telling you, but you will come to understand better as you grow older. When I was your age I lived in a house that had no electricity, no running water, no television, no telephone, no toy computers or real ones either. We children didn’t have game boys or x-boxes to play with, nor could we send sms messages or talk on our mobiles. We didn’t even have Facebook!

The form of family transport that we had was one bicycle. That was for my father to get to and from his work. Everybody else used shank’s pony, which meant that we walked. In our case we had to walk to school along a road that was made with very hard rocks that had been broken by prisoners. During those days if you went to prison once you never went back again when your time was served because you had to work very hard every day. Now the guys, and girls seem to think that going to prison is some kind of paid vacation. In the olden days they didn’t even lock up women.

When I walked to school it was without shoes. No-one, except the rich had shoes. Can you imagine that?

Those were absolutely wonderful days in my life because we lived near the water, and we had tons of open space in which to roam and use our imagination, unlike today when everything is so crowded, and people live in apartments. Even so, people don’t know who their neighbours are.

Eventually things changed and we had better facilities. We moved to another house, and we got electricity, running water and an inside toilet. We got a telephone, but it didn’t do anything unless we called somebody. The big change was when one of the neighbours got a small black and white television. They allowed us, their neighbours to come round to watch it if we sat on the terrace and looked at it through the window. At midnight the station ceased broadcasting by playing the British national anthem, God Save the Queen.

Do any of the tv stations stop broadcasting during the day in the United States where you live?

With our telephone we got a shock one day when we called our Aunt Muriel. She said guess where I am at the moment! We guessed she was in the house answering the phone, but she said that she was answering the phone, but she was outside hanging up clothes at the same time. How could that be? She had installed an extra long wire to her phone. Wow! Now, of course we have mobile phones that allow us to talk to one another while driving our cars. That is not such a good idea, but it can be done.

Perhaps the biggest change to affect the world was when a company called International Business Machines (IBM) introduced a machine for business called a computer. I was encouraged to buy some of the company’s shares when they were very cheap, but I didn’t understand what was going on, so I didn’t buy any. That’s a shame because if I had done so, I most probably would be a trillionaire today, and I could give you a big box full of money.

The computer changed everything about how we lived our lives, and continues to do so today. There are very few things that we do in our lives that are not impacted by the computer. Your own life will have changed so often by the time you become my age. For one thing, when I was born my life expectancy was 47, but I’m now 71, and there is the possibility that I may live to be one hundred. Your life expectancy is 78, but you will probably live to be 130.

I have seen the world change from cars that went very slow to Formula One super fast racing cars. Now we have world racing yachts that zip across the Atlantic, and airplanes that got so big that they are a place unto themselves, and they fly by jets that propel them at fantastic speeds. We live in a world where you never really have to touch money, and information is within a few seconds grasp. In our choice of telephones we have the Blackberry, and something called an iPhone. I won't even go there!
All these things have happened within my life. Hardly anything took place within my parent’s life, so only Heaven can have any idea of what to expect within your life as change keeps coming ever faster.

One of the negative things that have occurred is that technology exists in which a person can always be contactable, whether it’s during meal times, or when you sleep, or are travelling, or worse, when you are on vacation. Mankind was not designed to absorb so much stress. However, if you choose you can unplug everything and feel the stress slip away.

And so, Dear Reader, that’s what I’m going to do for the next month: no internet, no mobile phone, no radio, and no weekly columns. I’m hanging out my “Gone Fishing” sign, and I wish you all a good Summer break.

To be continued in September……..

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Fabulously Beautiful Woman




The Fabulously Beautiful Woman is Beautiful Inside!

There are two types of women who can de described accurately under this category. Both will probably be young-ish, but that might be the only thing they have in reality to share.

Most people, upon reading this title will think of a woman who is letter perfect. She will have stature, glorious hair, a sculpted face with doe-like eyes, a nose of perfect proportions, and lips to die for. Her colour, whatever it is will suit her perfectly and be without blemish. Her teeth will be straight and white. She will reflect such beauty in her face as to dazzle and to draw attention to herself just by being in our space.

Our eyes travel downwards, and we see that she has straight shoulders and a neck that is invitingly kissable. Her breasts need not be large, just so long as they are proportional to her frame and that they have cleavage. A trim waist would set off all of her above, and that should then flare out into hips that have form, upon which should be attached a derriere that would be accented like a Monet painting, especially if outlined in a thong.

A smooth and trim tummy would be wonderful, while it lasts, and her legs, sometimes called her pins would be like ladders to heaven, especially if they are nice and long and shapely. Such a person usually comes to mind when we mention a Fantastically, Beautiful Woman.

What are the chances of a man finding true happiness with such a woman? She’s lovely to look at and her place on the calendar in the garage is most appreciated. But as my wife or your wife, she perhaps should not be our first or even our last choice. this type of woman is known as a High Maintenance person.



In the public domain, one such woman who I consider worthy of the title of Fabulously Beautiful is really a big woman, at least five feet ten inches tall, and a really beefy person. Her face is divine, her personality is truly engaging, and added on top of all that, she has tremendous talent. I'm talking about Dana Owens, known professionaly as Queen Latifah.




I am writing about this today because I heard a couple of guys laughing about big women. They were making The Big Woman the butt of their jokes, but really, I think that if you want a wife who is most likely to love you beyond comprehension; a wife who will dedicate her life to you, and to her family; and a wife who will concentrate on her man to the extent of making him feel as though he really is something special, then I believe there is nobody more likely to be more of a wife like that than a big woman.

There are some men I know who have always drifted towards the big woman. You and I have seen big women at dances and we have been amazed at how graceful they are as dancers. They do seem to appreciate the company of other women as they gather with family in tow to chat, but first and foremost the thing they seem to care about and value is their home.

Logically, the beauty queen has herself to be concerned about. She has to spend a lot of time on making sure that all is just right before going out into the public. Little things like wrinkles and grey hairs and a little inevitable weight gain are not to be tolerated, and her man has to accept that he is second place in her life. Her beauty is first, and it is superficial and fleeting.

The beauty of the family woman gains in strength over time, so although she may weigh 100 plus kilos, she is all woman and worth her weight in gold ingots. She can also cradle her bosom in her arms and say to a man: “If these aren’t big enough for you, then I don’t know what the hell you want!”

The Big Woman is no laughing matter!

Copyright (c) 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Spain. Champions of the World!


¡Celebration Time!

Although it had been predicted over and over several times that Spain would win the World Cup, there were a number of hurdles that could have made the outcome different. Holland has not lost a game for about two years, so that team are not to be toyed with. They were tough and determined. They had been to the finals twice before and consequently were under tremendous pressure to emerge victorious. Would it have been fair had they done so? I think yes. A victory for them after two failed attempts would have been super sweet indeed.

It was not to be in spite of a hard fought battle. I could not avoid sharing their pain at the loss of The Cup. In games of sport, someone wins and someone loses, except in cricket, of course, that can be played over the course of a week and end in a draw. In other games the losers get short shrift. They have to deal with their own pain of loss in their own way.

Many people have said that football is more than just a game. I think I agree, and I think that applies more to football than any other game. The effect of the Spain team’s win on national pride and sheer happiness is inestimable. This is a country in the throes of deep financial troubles, but if you didn’t watch the game you didn’t have a television, or were one of those poor essential workers who were forcefully kept at their post.

In Spain, football is sport, and it is politics. Any doubt about that can be dispelled every night by twenty minutes of news and thirty minutes of football sports. Also, only a winning footballer could hug the Queen and be hugged by the King. It is only football that can bring an entire country to a complete stop. As I write this no-one is focused on joblessness. Crime is taking a holiday as the criminals are too busy involved in the spirit.

In the old days one country entered another to rape and pillage and kill and annex the land. Did they really need the land and the women? Well, they probably didn’t really need the land, but thankfully we have advanced from that to this modern form of challenge and conquer. It is definitely tribal, and the support is intense. The tears in the eyes of men are very real. These are men who are super macho, and who simply don’t cry, except when they win or lose.

The day after July 11th, we were asking each other if it is really true that Spain has the most powerful football team in the world; and the most successful tennis player; and the most successful basketball team, and occasionally a very successful Formula One driver. I think it particularly fitting that the watchword of the campaign of the World Cup for the Spanish team was:” ¡Podemos! Translated liberally, it means “Yes! We Can!”

Well Done España!

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, July 11, 2010

World Cup Finals




World Cup Finals -This is The One!

As I write this, it is the morning of Sunday, July 11, 2010. Today is the finals of the Football World Cup. Holland has been here before, twice, as a bridesmaid, but never the bride. Spain has never come this far before. Paul, the octopus predicts that Spain will win. Holland has played all of its games like the champions they are, having won them all. Spain lost their very first game against Switzerland who played that one like clockwork precision. Spain has awakened and pulled their act together.

I am writing this as a person who had absolutely no interest at all in the beautiful game, with the exception of the current situation. I live in Spain. There are no persons in Spain who are not interested in how this match will end.

July is one of the months during which many fiestas take place across the country. I would like to see Spain win, if for no other reason but to experience the sheer joy and celebrations that would move the usual fiestas filled with fun, up several levels to total ecstasy. Should Spain lose, then we’ll just have to be content with ordinary fun in July.

The preparation for today has been that lots of people have bought their Spanish football shirts and bandanas, and their vuevuezelas. The expectation is that during the game the streets will be absolutely deserted; all schedules have already been realigned. Medical operations have been re-scheduled, for the benefit of both medical staff and patients; the prisons have setup large screen tv’s, as have most city centres. Movie theatres are showing the game, and the air is thick with anticipation.

There is no financial crisis that is being worried about. People who are out of work are not worrying about how they will pay their bills, or even from where their next meal will come. Thieves will take a holiday during the game, but they may have stolen your television. This will be an exercise in a whole country sucking in its breath and holding it until Spain has won the match. The exhale could be of gale force proportion.

Those of us in Spain love Holland, so it will not be a personal thing that our team is determined to win. I think we shall remain friends, but I believe Holland could live with that better than being beaten by their close neighbour.

Today, a new champion will be declared. Let it be Spain!

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Michael Jackson --One Year On!




Michael Jackson --A Growing Legend!

Hum a few bars of the first Michael Jackson song that comes into your mind without thinking about it. What was that song? For me the challenge would be easy because the song that is always on my mind is “The Earth Song”, a homage to Mother Earth, and a call to arms to protect and conserve nature. I regard this as the crowning glory of all MJ’s works.

I am starting to write this on June 25th, the first anniversary of the very premature death of a very special person. In his own words, “Gone, too Soon!”

The paradoxical thing is that MJ would not have wanted to have lived a long time to have grown old. He said that the process of growing old is ugly, and I cannot imagine MJ as an old man.(I’m also convinced he did nothing deliberately and intentionally to shorten his life.)

He left us on the top of his game. I have watched the rehearsal video for that gigantic round of planned London concerts. That would have been quite an undertaking, and it’s a shame that the concerts never did take place. What an EVENT that would have been! Those people attending would have left dizzy from the heights they would have travelled to. We can only but imagine. In the time-honoured tradition of show business, always leave your audience gasping for more. That was vintage Michael Jackson.

The year has flown by in the twinkling of an eye. Apparently, even in the eyes of his family time has simply vanished. The saying goes, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Time has been very kind to MJ, to the point that romanticism has taken over. We only remember the good parts, which is just as well because the so-called bad parts were probably in large measure simply misunderstandings. In that case he would not be the first famous artist who was so ahead of his time that the public at large simply could not understand him. Just ask Brando, Miles Davis, Jimi Hendricks, The Beatles, Charlie Chaplin, Janis Joplin, Bette Davis, and a thousand more pioneers who the world thought were a little weird. Of course they are weird, because they are ahead of the crowd and what we don’t understand we label as being weird.

He has left the world a huge legacy in his songs, but in particular his vision of Neverland, where children never have to grow old. By all accounts it was a fantasyland
in the style of Peter Pan, who Michael believed himself to be. In my view he should be applauded for having taken an 11 kilometre tract of land and turned it into a zone of lakes with swans and fountains, and rollercoaster rides, and castles and steam railroads, and a zoo, among a lot of other things too hard to imagine, thereby celebrating earth and children in general. Was he a danger to children? Probably not, as he was a child himself. No criminal charge ever stuck, nor did we hear any child actually say that Michael molested him. So, we can now let all that unpleasant business slide into obscurity and simply remember the music.

He left something else as part of his legacy: he left three children who are growing up, but I can’t help hearing in the background a quiet drumroll. His children will have inherited his genes, and possibly his talent. Will they begin where he left off?

Stay tuned!

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael