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Sunday, August 2, 2009

The Science of Shopping


It's a Girl Thing!

As a man this title will probably confuse you. In the world of shopping men and women display attitudes from different planets, as suggested by the popular book.

I have spent three weeks surrounded by four women as they went shopping and I have had my awareness sharpened. Let me tell you how I shop and you will get a fairly good idea from that, especially if you are a woman, of how we men deal with the task when it is absolutely necessary.

Say, I need a new suit. For me this would equate to buying a house, so some time must be spent on the details. Because I’m not a rich man my suits will come from off the rack. Before arriving at the shop I will decide on the colour and style, so when I get to the shop I go directly to that rack and find my size. All that is left is for me to have the leg size taken and to pay for it. If I’m in the shop for more than ten minutes it’s because the salesman was busy with another customer when I went in.

The experience of shopping for a woman is different to that. No matter whether they are shopping for something small, or, heaven forbid, something major, they put the same effort into the process. On one day we went into a shopping mall and the ladies all went into a particular shop. They were in there for the best part of an hour and came out with a very small inconsequential package. In the history of men that has never happened.

When shopping for Spanish style fans it was fascinating to observe how every fan displayed was touched, opened, waved a few times, looked over on both sides, fondly caressed, held up to the face, and looked at in the mirror.

I once bought a dozen fans to take as gifts. I went into the store and said I’ll take one of each, (which is how I know they had a dozen different styles), paid for them and left. Whole thing took a little less than two minutes.

Can someone please tell me what is it about women and shoes? We tried to walk down a street and they spotted every shoe store, whether it was on the side that we were walking or the other side. I would continue on walking, totally oblivious and when I looked they were like deer caught in the glow of my headlights.

Imelda Marcos, the wife of a dictator was discovered to have a closet with so many pairs of shoes that all we men scoffed, and every woman said “lucky bitch!” I should be careful how I touch on this subject however, because I have managed to build up a collection myself of far too many shoes. My excuse is that I am looking for a pair of shoes that don’t make my feet hurt, when the problem all along is my feet.

I like the company of women, but I have discovered that if I’m in their company whether they are on a shopping trip or not, I need to have plenty of patience. In case you didn’t know, shopkeepers, if they are wise, will provide comfortable chairs placed throughout their stores. Those are man-chairs where us guys get to sit down and shut up.




The other thing you might not have noticed is that each mall has 99% shops where women are the target customers, and even if they have a men’s department it will be tiny by comparison. However, hardware stores are an entirely different concept and don’t count in this study.

Finally, there was the time when my wife and I were looking to buy a house. I had more time to scout around, but every suggestion I came up with was rejected. One of the objections was that we were too far removed from the metro station. So, I got fed up and gave my wife my power of attorney and told her to but us a house. I didn’t want to be consulted, nor did I want to see it before she had signed the papers.

Is the house that she bought perfect in every way. Yes, and No! Am I content with it? Yes, actually!



Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael