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Sunday, October 24, 2010

Too Ridiculous to be False


Ridiculously Funny

Sometimes, if you are looking for comedy, you need look no further than the pages of your local newspaper. The news from the courts is a good source. There was one case that involved a man who was arrested for being in charge of a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol. However, he was riding a horse at the time, and much court time was taken up in argument over whether a horse is a vehicle.

Finally it was decided that as the horse was a means of transport it was deemed to be included under the heading of a vehicle. The magistrate then informed the defendant that he was satisfied with the charges, and asked whether the man had anything to say before he was sentenced. The court anticipated that he might come up with something entertaining. “Well, your honour, if you are finding me guilty then you’re gonna have to find the horse guilty too, because he was even more pissed than I was.”

Brilliant!

I read in a paper recently that on one balmy evening Tom was out walking in the neighbourhood when he saw a light from a bedroom window. He approached and on tiptoes he saw a completely naked woman watching television. The curtains were open and that allowed for a fairly good view, although a little more elevation was required to help his line of sight. So, Tom found a bucket in the yard and stepped on that, but it made a little noise so he ran for cover.

What is a woman doing lying around her house with the curtains open, and in the nude?

She heard the noise, put some clothes on and went to investigate. She found the bucket but nothing else. She decided that she should remain dressed while in her home. Days later, in spite of no apparent further problems she noticed that a concrete building block had been placed under her window, and a ladder had been moved closer to her bedroom.

She then came home shortly afterwards to find a note pinned to her front door that said: “Hi! I’m your secret admirer. I like what I see and would like to get to know you. I’m single and new to this area and I am looking for friendship.” Signed Tom, with telephone number. (I’m not making this up!)

Of course she went straight to the police who first found out what they needed to know about him, and then they called him. Duh!

In asking the magistrate for leniency Tom said that he knows that what he did was wrong and it has hurt his family, especially his wife.

Uh oh!

Talk about being dumb and dopey. Some mothers do have ‘em.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael