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Sunday, March 30, 2008

Falsely Accused!




I can think of nothing more horrid for a person to experience than to be falsely accused of committing a crime. History books are full of stories of people, particularly men, who have been falsely accused, tried and convicted, and in far too many cases, have been put to death for having committed no crime at all.

My lack of faith in the criminal justice system in most countries of the world is my reason for standing firmly against the death penalty. Once an innocent person gets slipped through the system due to mistakes, lack of funding for a high priced defence,
or prosecutors who are out to make a name for themselves at the expense of even the innocent, time spent in jail is enough of an obscenity. At least if the injustice is discovered the individual can be released. But once we’re dead, we stay dead for a very long time.

I once found myself under suspicion of having committed a very serious crime, as were a great number of other young men in my age group and profile. A woman claimed that she had been raped, but what had actually taken place was that her husband came home from his work earlier than usual at night, and surprised she and her lover. The lover ran from the house and she tried to cover up her infidelity by crying rape.

She was taken seriously and a search was undertaken to try and find the person seen by her husband fleeing the scene. Unfortunately for me I lived in the same neighbourhood on my own, and that night I had been to a film alone and was returning home at about the time her lover was making good his escape. My neighbours would have been able to say at about what time I arrived home, and to make matters worse I could have fit the description.

In the end the truth came out and the matter was abandoned, but not before a lot of resources were committed to the case, and the lives of a lot of people had been turned upside down. My own experience was stressful in the extreme. The detective who interviewed me later said that he was fairly sure that in me he had found the guilty party, and it was his feeling that he should have arrested me from the start. However, there was something that held him back from doing so because he was aware that if he was wrong the damage would have been done, and my life would have been ruined.

I would like to think that he held back because he had the common sense to doubt that there had been a crime committed in the first place. But the search placed a number of young men under the spotlight. I think the police found it fascinating to uncover so many tales of who was sleeping with whom in secret.

In all, I had to tell the story of my movements on that night three times under very formal circumstances in a police station. On the last occasion they let slip the nationality of the husband. From that I was able to tell that he was a guest worker from overseas, probably working in an hotel, doing double duty in the evening, first in the dining room, and then moving on to the nightclub. I was able to explain that as the incident that supposedly occurred was at the end of the tourist season, he had probably not been needed in the nightclub and had simply come home early and surprised his cheating wife.

The fourth time that I was called in to the police station it was to be given a formal apology and to be assured that it was all over. One woman had made the police and the public into fools, and tremendous resources had been wasted. Also, the greatest disservice had been done to every woman who might have a legitimate complaint in the future.

The stress that I experienced from trying to prove a negative took a great toll on me. I was facing ruin, not to mention loss of my freedom, no matter how short a period that might have been, or how long.

I hear people say all the time that if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear from the police. Such naïveté is wonderful. I can only hope for them that they are not personally rocked out of this state of being.

In the case that I have described here I am only too happy to agree that I did not become a victim of the system. But that is down to one young detective, whom I will never, ever forget for his compassion and concern for my well-being. Normally I would have been led off in handcuffs and thrown in jail. If it later turned out that it was all a mistake, well, that’s just too bad, innit!

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, March 23, 2008

More Violence in the Home - Murder!












Murder, or Double Jeopardy?

I have been following the strangest murder trial I have ever heard of. The case involves a 26-year old young woman defendant charged with committing the murder of her violent boyfriend.

One of the reasons that this case is so outstanding is that she was firstly a victim of physical abuse from a violent man. What a mess for a young woman to walk into. To fall in love with a man who turns out to be a person who somehow feels he has the right to physically beat her into submission. Unfortunately, this is a tale that is far too common. It is also not all that uncommon for the abuser in relationships to be either male or female.

What is at work in the thinking of the person who assumes the role of the Top over the Bottom? Is it such a human thing for one person to have to lord it over another, and is it about simple and raw power?

Back to this particular tale of alleged murder: Her story was that on the night in question, he came into her home, and as usual for him, began knocking her around. There had been an earlier incident outside the home that had sent him into a jealous frenzy, and he had come into the home pumped up. She said that things got out of hand with him punching her, and pulling her about the house by her hair.

The action moved to the darkened kitchen where he began choking her, having said that he felt like killing her while at the same time choking her. She said that she was fighting for her life, and while flailing around her hand touched some kind of kitchen utensil, which turned out to be a knife, which she slammed against his head, and in the process was plunged into his jugular.

He died of the wound! She claimed she was in a situation of self-defence, fighting for her life. His death was an unintentional consequence.

Given this scenario, a jury would simply have to decide whether this was a justifiable case of death at the hands of a woman struggling to save her own life from a man intent on taking her life; or whether it had to be determined an act of manslaughter.

Here, the case takes a most peculiar turn of events:

The prosecution chose to charge her with murder, that is to say, the unlawful taking of a human life, with malice aforethought. That was strange to begin with, given her story, but the outline of their case as to what had taken place was even curiouser. Without producing a single witness to describe the chain of events they allege, prosecution contend that during the altercation that took place that night she broke away from him and went to the kitchen to take up the knife with the intent of ending his life.

According to them, he fled into the bedroom and closed the door, but did not have time to lock it. Instead, he held the door against her by pushing back against it with his back to the door. He had also, they said picked up their baby and was holding her. On the other side, they alleged, she tried to get into the bedroom but could not budge the door. Instead, in a fit of rage she began stabbing the door. Several of the knife thrusts were so powerful that they penetrated the wooden door, and one went through and into the man’s neck and jugular. (The door was produced for the jury.)

This, the prosecution maintained amounted to the calculated murder of a man.

This scenario is, in my mind so bizarre that I fully expect Hollywood writers to take up the idea to be made into a movie, if they haven’t already done something like it. Sounds like something right out of the “Chucky” movies, or the Friday the Thirteenth series, or Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in “The Shining”, exclaiming, “Honey, I’m Home!”

It is simply impossible to murder someone by finding their jugular vein on the opposite side of a solid wooden door. If it happened at all that way, it would have been a very lucky strike, (or unlucky for the victim). And if some of the previous strikes saw the blade coming all the way through the door, you might think the man would have moved his neck out of the way. It could hardly be calculated as a method to murder. However, had she a gun, knowing that he was on the other side of the door, she could have fired several shots at random places and angles to be fairly sure that at least one would find its target. We know this can be done because we have seen it in the movies.

Was this a case of a very sympathetic prosecution making up a circumstance no jury could convict on, as they had probably concluded that this young woman had suffered enough and should be sent home to be a mother to her children. Unfortunately she stuck to her story that events had taken place as she described them, and the jury concluded that her actions amounted to manslaughter.

Thus, she, as the original victim suffered from double jeopardy, the being put at risk twice. Now she sits in jail.

I wish it were as simple as saying to other victims of abuse that in order to avoid this type of end result, you should walk away when the abuse first starts. Perhaps you might allow the first episode on the firm understanding that a repeat and you’re out.

When abuse is allowed to continue to be repeated over and over again, the one thing I believe the public cannot yet understand is the reason why the abused stays is because of love: Unless of course, it’s a love of abuse.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, March 16, 2008

In the News - A Week in March, 2008








simulation



Two things of significance happened during this week. The first was the resignation of the governor of New York State, Eliot Spitzer. It seems that Mr. Spitzer was a crusading prosecutor who made his name, and eventually led to his election as governor by going after a number of people who were active in, among other things, the sex business. He called himself a steamroller, so ruthless was he in taking down prominent people, that he felt he deserved his nickname.

But the governor had a secret. He probably had many secrets, but they are now coming out in the open. While he was busy taking down accused people and earning his reputation, it seems that he was doing the same types of things. This man held the public’s trust while at the same time thumbing his nose. How arrogant was that?

There are an awful lot of people rejoicing at his downfall. Parties will be in full swing for many weeks to come. His fall from grace is expected to be only the beginning. There will be the inevitable lawsuits, the books, the movie. Where can he go to hide? He said something about healing his marriage. What marriage is that? As they say in New York, “For-ged-about-eet!

His greatest sin, it seems, was in paying for sex with prostitutes. In this regard, America is centuries behind Europe. There are countries in Europe where if you are not paying for sex with prostitutes you are not doing your part in upholding the local economy. America is still puritan by comparison. Europe has forged so far ahead in a healthy attitude to the naked body and to sex. In some places, it’s illegal to have sex on the street, but not absolutely everywhere. But, in the main, the attitude is, please, everybody, have sex.

Mr. Spitzer is having his Karma. Maybe he didn’t believe in it before, but I bet he does now. Whatever happens will be his just desserts, but I would like to ask the next big shot who gets caught with his pants down one thing: Will you leave your poor wife home. Please don’t drag her before the cameras so that we get to see the face of a very embarrassed and disappointed person. It’s been done.

However, in the event my request is ignored I would like to see the following happen: When you are done delivering your ridiculous statement, and you’re about to leave the microphones, that’s when I would like to see your wife step up and say to the astonished press and world: “Did you, Ladies and gentlemen, really think I came here to be further humiliated in person and in silence? The real reason why I’m here is to speak my peace, which is as follows……..


Financial Settlement between Sir Paul McCartney and Heather:

It has been reported that an agreement has been reached finally in that Heather is to receive Fifty Million pounds as a full and final settlement to wind up the marriage. I’m writing this as a follow-up to an earlier title of mine, which was, speaking about divorce financial settlements: “ Is 50% always Fair?”

There have been some very messy splits and some astronomical amounts awarded to the spouse that didn’t hold the purse strings. We read these accounts, and our mouths drop open and the debates begin as to how could she, usually she, but it could just as easily be a he, be worth it?

What did our Heather do to warrant a payday of ₤50 million? Well, probably nothing. She didn’t do the dishes; she didn’t have to cook; didn’t do laundry; didn’t do anything worth ₤50 million. The only thing she did do was to make love to her husband and to make him happy, but I doubt that a price tag has been calculated using that as a formula. At least I hope not!

It all comes down to what is reasonable and fair when the split comes, and what the one with the purse can afford to share. In this case she has been introduced to a standard of living that the Courts feel she is entitled to continue to enjoy. This is only newsworthy because there is so much money involved. But in the real world, settlements happen every day and nobody is happy. Ruin for all concerned is the result of the disaster that is the marriage break-up. In many cases it would appear that the wife and children get the best of the deal, and for sure, some men go into absolute penury as a result.

None of that gets reported, only the really huge awards do because of the shock value and envy. Usually the one with the purse still gets to hold on to more than enough to continue living well. But the real question for Sir Paul and Heather is: “What now?”

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, March 9, 2008

What about Swinging?






Firstly, the topic of Swinging as a life style choice is just about the most misunderstood subject in the world, and was readily ridiculed by more than 90% of the people I dared to speak to about it.

I freely confess to being a sceptic, however, after discussing the topic with someone whose opinion I respect, and who is gifted with a super sense of logic and good sense, I have concluded that there are perhaps some redeeming aspects to the practise of The Swinging Lifestyle, and if understood might actually keep some marriages together that otherwise would go the way of so many others.

What is Swinging? It is non-monogamous sexual practise involving three or more people, but not necessarily together at the same time
Who is ideally suited? Married couples whose own intimate lives together have dried up, but for significant reasons need to keep the framework of the marriage together.
Main objections? Moral and philosophical, but not necessarily religious.

The Swinging Lifestyle is widely practised in countries around the world to such a degree that this treatment of the topic will come as no surprise or enlightenment to many who read it. In other words, it’s more common than one might think. There are openly advertised swingers clubs, and there are private arrangements.

These are modern times, and this is a subject for very mature adults only. Essentially, The Lifestyle is presumably seen as a solution to a problem, but because of the intimate nature of the action it can also lead to other problems. In times past the practise was that of going to a party and throwing your car key in the pot. The women chose a key, but the atmosphere was always depicted as being very severe.

The norm is that of male-female couples getting together for the objective of swapping partners for sexual gratification. A common age group will be the over forties, mainly because these will be people who have had a long-term relationship, perhaps started in their early twenties, and their sex lives have become worn out with repetition and sameness. To spice up their lives and overcome boredom they trust each other, and to avoid deceit they mutually agree to engage with other couples in the pursuit of pure pleasure.


Unlike engaging with another person in sex for payment, the practise of swinging can allow for emotions, and it seems to me that eventually you are going to engage with someone in this most intimate of human activities that will touch your heart, and you will feel genuine love, and that will break all the rules.

There are those couples that say they already have a good sex life together, but swinging enhances it. They say that by swinging they ward off the boredom factor. I stretch my imagination to try and understand how that works. Here you are, married with children, and on the surface everything else appears to be normal except once or twice a month you attend a party and go off with other people. Do you talk about it at home afterwards? And are you absolutely honest with each other?

There is one major consideration in all this, and that is that if one of the partners is not as completely convinced and committed as the other, I assume that disaster lies ahead. I would like to be the fly on the ceiling at the time the subject first comes up. Can we safely assume that it will always be the male to take the initiative? Probably not. It used to be called wife-swapping, but that term is no longer politically correct because it gives the mistaken impression that the wife simply does her husband’s bidding. Partner-swapping more properly reflects what takes place, especially where both people are mutually enthusiastic.

However, I am convinced that when one’s wife agrees to it, she does not do so for her husband’s sake. She has to see that there is something in it for her as well, and she is entitled to be selfish. It may be that the husband got them started, but it will be the wife who keeps them in it.

There is such a wide variety of clubs and participants that the rules are bound to be complex across the spectrum. The most uncomplicated are those clubs that are based on non-discriminatory couples only, but then there are some groupings that welcome single women on their own, and discourage single men without women partners.

As with any intimate activity of this sort there will be the ever-present dangers of sexually transmitted disease and pregnancy. These are dangers great enough on their own to cool passions, but I think the greatest danger of all is that sooner or later you will meet that someone who you will not be able to shake from your mind, and the thing that you tried to avoid of your marriage breaking up will go that route anyway.

Of course, it can be argued that you had all that fun in the meantime. And now that you begin a new life with your new partner, will you be expected to continue to Swing?

Life can be so complicated at times!


Copyright © 2008

Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, March 2, 2008

BDSM























Bondage, Domination, & Sadomasochism


Upon having read Stephen King’s very excellent book, “Gerald’s Game” I found this to be an introduction to the very different world of Bondage. Basically the premise of the book is that Gerald takes his wife to their remote cottage in the woods, and he handcuffs her to the bed in the interests of fun sex play. We don’t get to share in what he had in mind because at that crucial moment, Gerald chooses to die, leaving his wife between a rock and a very hard place indeed.

But the story got me to thinking about a sub-world that does exist, providing a very different lifestyle from the norm. Firstly, I wondered about the person who permits himself or herself, indeed offers themselves to be totally incapacitated, in the interest of sexual game playing. I tried to look into the mind of such a person, and to ask why?

Presumably this is all in the pursuit of sexual thrills and the ever more elusive climax. Is it that when people allow themselves to be in such a position that something should happen that they would not otherwise permit. Such as some violation or outrageousness to take them to a place that they would not normally, and voluntarily go. Are they looking to be terrified and then brought back from the brink unharmed?

Right along with such a scene goes the question, “at what point does the action cross over into assault or rape?”

As long as I stayed with the submissive person I thought we were on fairly safe territory, at least from that person’s perspective, but what happens when we cross over to the one who wants to put you completely under their power? How well can the submissive person know the other person, because I really wonder what could be in the contemplation of such a person’s mind. If he or she wants the submissive completely helpless, rather than in a position of simple play-acting with an easy escape facility, what the hell could that person be planning?

While I make no judgements about such alternative lifestyles, other than they are not for me, I think it would be prudent for people who are intrigued and who may be thinking about getting into some of this action to get hold of some books on the topic and learn something about the lifestyle you may be entering.

For one thing, there’s a whole glossary to learn, and there are rules and approved conduct involved, such as “You can hurt, but you must not harm.” (How does that work?)








You might like to Google “Masters and Slaves” for a start. Be prepared for a real eye opener. I really would like to get into some details, but somehow I feel that I would be invading the privacy of the lifestyle in this column by doing so, without any real purpose.

Suffice it to say that these are consenting adults making free choices, and they seem to get something significant from the life. Even those people who contract themselves to a Master to be their slave on a 24/7 basis seem pleased to serve, and to give their gift, as they call it, to those who control them, so, who am I to be negative. A case of whatever turns you on, I suppose.

If you’re interested there are almost unlimited books to help introduce you to that special world. The important thing is to go in with your eyes wide open.

One more thing: Happy camping and Good Luck!

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael