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Sunday, May 31, 2009

I'm Shrinking!






I’m perfectly aware that we all shrink as we grow older. As a man I expect to have problems with my shirt size as it is at present, and my suit size, not to mention my waist size. One man said that he has not had a problem with his waist size throughout his entire life. What he really meant was that he is still wearing a size 35 but it isn’t around his waist. The bigger he got the lower he wore his pants in the front.

What has got me to thinking about shrinking is my shoe size. I expect everything else to shift around and about, but I expect my shoe size to remain permanent. Well, it isn’t, dammit! I have bought shoes recently in size 42, which is small for a man anyway. Buying shoes in the Winter is deceptive because of those heavy socks. As a result size 42 fit me perfectly. However, Summer’s here and I have to put away the chunky socks and my shoes don’t fit me any more.

This is so depressing! I’m getting smaller as my voice has gone up an octave. What a pain in the butt this is. I feel I’m losing my virility on the one hand while on the other hand I feel charged up and capable of doing most reasonable things.

I thought I had better take a look at the facts on shrinking while aging. I wish I hadn’t started now because the facts are horrible. It seems we’re in growth mode until at the most around age 30, and that is where we top out. We may get to hold the line for a short time, but once the rot sets in its all downhill after that.

The Baltimore Longitudinal Study says that by age 70, most men are about 1.2 inches shorter than we were at age 20. For women it is even worse as they lose about two inches. The culprit is loss of bone density as we naturally lose calcium and other minerals. Women suffer more than men, hence women are often prescribed calcium supplements at menopause. Brittle bone syndrome attacks women more so than men as well, so hip fractures are something that women have to be more cautious of.

To add to the misery our facial bone structures are sucked in leaving our skin to sag. Many people have relied on the old Nip ‘n Tuck to see them through, but the process is relentless. Unfortunately, in a world where beauty accounts for so much the loss of her beauty is particularly cruel. However, there is one area where women score rather well.

Our brains stop growing just after we pass through our teenage years, but every parent will swear it happens immediately we enter those years, and we actually lose weight and volume of our brains at a rate of about 10 percent a decade, according to a U.S. study. Apparently most men’s brains undergo a dramatic change between ages 60 and 64 in shrinkage, however, women’s brains stay about the same.

Australian researchers tell us that size really doesn’t matter; that we retain all of our mental strength regardless. The loss of memory has more to do with chemical interactions. Well, that’s a relief! That still leaves us with the fact that we do shrink as we age and there’s no putting off the day for that to happen.

I’m still pissed about my shoe size. Man that’s confusing!

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, May 24, 2009

When Life Doesn’t Disappoint





The one thing that is guaranteed is that life will hand us disappointments, whether we are ready for them or not. Our challenge is to accept them with more grace.

Sometimes, however, life does not disappoint, and this is about one of those times. Of course, as you know I am a Columnist. I think that is a very glorified title that I am giving myself, but I can do so, and so I have. I’m sure there are those who would scoff at that, but for the time being, and for the sake of argument let us let it lie. The point I’m clumsily trying to make is about the lonely life of a Columnist. In many ways it’s similar to broadcasters who talk into a microphone and a camera hoping that there is someone out there listening and watching.

From time to time we are assured when someone gives us feedback, usually because they disagree with something we’ve said, but you will be surprised to know that we live for such moments. At least it’s confirmation that someone is listening or reading our stuff.

The act of writing a column is very liberating because we are able to let go of our views and opinions. It’s not at all the same thing to be a news reporter, and those who do both will agree. The wonderful thing about the Internet and blogging is that anyone can do it.

Over the years those of us who blog or write columns for newspapers hope that we gather loyal friends to whom we make sense. The same is the case for us writers in that we also have our favourite contributors. We get to learn their style, and we can tell from the tone of a particular column whether they were having an up or down day when it was written. Without the contributor knowing we make friends who we sometimes disappoint, or make very happy when our views match theirs.

However, there is a danger to this process. As in every case where we admire the work of someone from afar, the real person might be a total turnoff. I have come to learn this personally because I have met some of my favourite film personalities, and boy was I disappointed in most of their private personalities.

My favourite Columnist of all time is a young woman who came to Spain from England about six years ago. She suddenly splashed onto the newspaper scene as “An English Girl in Spain”, which is the title of her Column in the Costa Blanca Group of publications. I recall reading her first contribution and thinking how fresh her style and opinions were, and I have stayed with her column ever since.

She has told us a lot about herself and the trials and tribulations of her life. We knew she was very much in love with her Spanish boyfriend, and then she told us when that came to an end and I was saddened for her. She told us about her Santiago de Compestelo challenge and I ached for her as she came to the near impossible mountain pass in the devil’s weather. Now, she is missing her family and feeling a bit guilty about living here in Spain when they are not exactly next door.


Then, suddenly one day I was introducing myself to this lovely young woman who responded that her name was Joanna Cruickshank, and I could not believe my ears. Without warning I had come face to face with my idol, and I was suitably gobsmacked. After a bit of a chat it occurred to me that here was a lovely young woman with both feet on the ground and her head on straight with a bright future. I also didn’t realise that I had been giving her words on paper a voice that I could hear as I read them. Her actual voice is different to what I imagined in a much better way.

Through this medium I simply want to encourage her to keep up the good work. I’m sure sometimes she finds herself tired and doubtful of whether she should continue. The fact is that “An English Girl in Spain” is the first thing I read in the Costa Blanca/Costa Levante News, and life would degrade without it.

Now, I’m wondering how my voice sounds to you.

Copyright (c) 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Growing Old, or Simply Growing Older


Is Age simply a Number?

The headline read “Percy reaches 102”. For all we knew they might have been talking about his cricket score. The picture showed three people standing, a young girl, and to her left a mature gentleman of about 70, and to his left a younger man. The man in the middle was Percy who had celebrated his 102nd birthday with a conventional party that included dancing, in which he took part.

His name is Percy Miller, who was born in Plymouth, England in 1907. In that same year Katherine Hepburn, Laurence Olivier, and John Wayne were also born. They have all passed on, as we are all aware.

The National Union of Women’s Sufferage Societies held their first ever major march, that was dubbed The March in the Mud. Maria Montessori opened her first Montessori School in Rome promoting her own brand of teaching that has endured unto today.

Of special interest is the fact that 1907 in America, and to a lesser degree around the world was a period of great economic uncertainty. In fact, in the United States it was called “The Panic of 1907”. It started with an earthquake in San Francisco that went on to shake the entire U.S. economy and its effect was felt around the world. The cast of characters was the same, being the banks and Wall Street.

For those being born today we should take particular note of the fact that for so many people the actuarial life expectancy tables have so often been proved wrong. In the case of our Percy, when he was born it was expected that he would live to a ripe old age of 47, the same age in Bermuda when I was born in 1939. I don’t know about Percy, but I took it seriously and hurried out of school and got married at a criminally young age and brought our two children into the world by the time we were eighteen.

The Costa Blanca News reported some startling facts about Percy Miller. He was married to Joyce, his wife of 56 years and they had two children and four grandchildren. He lives independently with the help of family and friends. He loves to dance although it’s not likely for him to dance with women of his own age group, as there are none. He was still playing cricket at age 70, which is no big deal. I’m 70 and I can do that…badly. However, at age 90 he abselled down a cliff, something I’m not likely to ever do, except by accident, and something else that I definitely won’t be doing is walking from Jalon to Parcent, an inland route of 5.4 kilometres to celebrate his 100th birthday.

He was asked the inevitable question, to what do you owe your long life? His response was that he always has a glass of orange juice in the morning and a glass of wine at night. Rumour had it that he drank a bottle of whisky a day, and it was wondered what his doctor thought. He denied the rumour, but in any event his doctor is dead, so he can jolly well do as he pleases.

To that question I would have answered for him that he owes his long life to luck….very good luck for having outlived all his friends and enemies. First thing to do to live long is to avoid the Army, Navy and Air Force. They say that if you join up with them you can be all that you can be. I’ve always interpreted that as being dead. Luck was on his side in those cases, keeping him safely sidelined.

He has lived through all manner of crisis’, and even a period of virtual world peace, except for local conflict. For those of us I hope we have the opportunity to live to celebrate our 100th birthdays, just to see how this crazy out-of-control world turns out. However living to such an age also infers quality of life, and if we get to emulate Percy by retaining our motor functions and capabilities we will be very lucky.

The thing to remember is that as we are living longer it might be a good idea to take good care of ourselves. For instance, how wonderful do you think it might be to do as Percy did and Drive his Own Car to the photo shoot! Now that’s a life well worth having lived. Don’t you think?

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Big Bang Noise of Peace!


Have a NiceDay!



I give as an example the activities of children playing in a seperate room from yourself, who then suddenly go quiet. You will rush into the room to see what’s the matter.
Now you know exactly what I mean by silence producing sometimes the loudest noise of all.

I have written before of my obnoxious neighbours who start with their noisy lifestyle from the moment they awaken. Sometimes the sun has not arisen and we can hear them screaming at one another. Periodically, all is absolutely quiet at their house and that leads me to look over the balcony to see if they have all (hopefully) died.

You will no doubt have your own examples of having been startled by sudden silence. My favourite story is that of the barking dog who carried on non-stop because he didn’t like being tethered on a chain. When a complaint was made to the owners they suggested that if the dog’s barking disagreed with the neighbours they simply should not listen to it.

That sounds to me like the same choice that people who live alongside a busy road have. The sound of traffic will be constant, so you have to learn to block it out. But what if the road were suddenly closed, how then would the residents cope with so much silence? Would they be put constantly on edge fearing the return of the roar at any minute? I presume they would enjoy their moment of peace so much that the coming loss of it will be unbearable.

Such was the case of Peace, in the sense of war and peace. I do recall only one temporary period of time during which the world was all but completely at peace. With the exception of a few very local disputes there were no major threats hanging over our existence. The Cold War had ended, The Berlin Wall came down, the major powers were talking, and the Pentagon was asking whether they should be developing major weapons of destruction.

Russia and The United States were destroying their own missiles, and the entire world exhaled. In a U.S. Senate session the question was asked that if the U.S. continued to stockpile warheads, against whom might they one day have to be launched. What enemies did America have? The answer came back, that America didn’t have any such enemies at that time.

That was one of those perfect day type situations. You know the type I mean where the temperature is perfect for the beach and the picnic. There’s not a cloud in the sky and life is beautiful and lazy and grand. Anything at all can shatter that fragile picture, and when it does it will come as a surprise.

Well, the picture did shatter, and the image was so long ago, that by comparison with all the bad things that are happening and that have happened since, it seems that we never did have such a wonderful interlude. Part of the actual noise that broke the peace was 9/11, and I wonder how many people looked at that with a sense of outrageous normality. The real noise had returned so it was now O.K. to breath regularly. We knew the peace was all just an illusion.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, May 3, 2009

World Financial Crisis Solved


World Financial Crisis Solved ! Wall Street off the hook.

You’ve all seen the e-mail making the rounds with the above title. I really enjoyed it because it all seemed so simple. In case you haven’t actually seen it this is what it says: To fix America’s economic problems government should not give so much money to the banks, who seem to be putting it into their pockets in the form of what they call a bonus, instead government should do the following:

There are about forty million people over 50 in the work force. Government should pay each person $1 million in severance pay to take early retirement. That would create 40 million jobs.
Those people must buy a new American car. That would fix the American auto industry.
They must either buy a new house or pay off their mortgage. That would solve the housing crisis.
If more money is required have all members in Congress and their constituents actually pay their income taxes.

Sounds great! What’s right about it, and what’s wrong with it.
Firstly, as always, the devil is in the details.

Take those 40 million people who are now struggling to save up for their retirement and to pay off their mortgages. A windfall of one million dollars in most cases would go a long way to resolving their concerns. Once they have retired, hopefully some of that money could go towards starting their own business that could become an employer. Of course, there will be some people who would actually lose money by taking the million, but overall, it would probably meet with favour by a majority.

The American auto industry is perhaps the largest employer, so to increase demand for their products by 40 million units would in itself put a great many people back to work. Of course, many of those same workers would have been beneficiaries of the payout, so younger people would go into their vacant jobs. So far, so good!

Those forty million people would have to buy a house or retire their mortgages. For many people this would be a reprieve from near death as they are losing their homes because they have lost their job. This solution would bring lots of new workers into the market to meet the demand. Even those people who have a home that is paid for would be required to buy a new home, so presumably they could do so, then later when the country is stable they could sell it in the normal manner.

These steps seem solid to me, except that America’s unemployed number far fewer than 40 million. To make up the additional workers needed America could always bring in Mexicans, who are going to come anyway.

Hopefully, such a programme would address the toxic assets on the books of the lending institutions, but if it did the question then becomes whether the bankers will go back to their old habits and give too much credit too freely, in the interest of their bonus’.

The major problem with this idea is that it feel socialist, and in America that just does not sell. You can “give” as much money to the banks as you wish, and not all will be recovered. We speak of giving, but government thinks in terms of investment, however a lot of money will be lost in the process. The other thing that’s wrong is that 40 million times one million dollars is so much money my calculator has just had a heart attack.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael