Two Victims-Different Responses (IV of VI)
The premise: That no man of good conscience would willingly and recklessly force himself upon another person for the reason of sex, power or control. This series is intended to raise awareness and sensitivity.
Survivor A.
She had been in a long-term relationship with her boyfriend who she describes as being her perfect man. He was loving and caring and sensitive to her needs. When she had struggled to turn her life in a new direction he was there with both moral and financial support.
She thought that they knew each other intimately and well. Whenever he wanted her she was always there for him to give of herself willingly and joyfully. She loved him completely.
On this particular day she was feeling distressed and depressed by worrisome problems, so when he made his familiar overtures she felt she could not give of her best, so she said that she was just not in the mood. It was better left for another time. He persisted, and on learning that there was no physical barrier became ever more persistent.
She became annoyed that he was acting so much out of character and it escalated to the point of a struggle, and then a fight with him declaring, “Never say no to me!”
He took her against her will, and in doing so he crossed the line.
She preferred charges of forcible rape, and stood fast in her evidence. He was convicted and sentenced to a modest term of imprisonment.
As a result of the unprotected nature of the event she became pregnant, gave birth to her son, and went on to raise him as a single parent.
She was outspoken about her outrage, and soon discovered that there were countless silent sufferers in her small community. She discovered that there was a culture of male dominance over women whereby men held the right of expectation of submission at all times. She established a woman’s support centre that dedicated itself in turning around attitudes. It has grown in size and importance and has become a permanent aspect of life.
Survivor B
This is an unusual case in that it involves the mother of the young woman who was savagely abducted and raped by a stranger, albeit, a man from the same town. The case took on national attention as it progressed through the stages.
The young girl had to submit to further humiliation in the collection of evidence through close examination. At every moment her mother was there, never leaving her side, trying her best to console her daughter.
She then had to go through the terrifying ordeal of actually identifying her attacker, and fearing that he would try and get to her and kill her. Her mother kept her close, went everywhere with her, never left her for a moment.
Her mother was there to watch her daughter’s shame as she gave evidence to a room of strangers about the most personal aspects of her life. She was so young to be put through such a mental rape and torture, but she held up and was determined to tell the whole truth.
The facts spoke for themselves and the man was convicted of rape and sent to prison. He had the opportunity to express remorse for what he had done, but chose not to do so. Her mother was there to hug and comfort her daughter, and every day while he served his sentence her mother did her best to help her broken daughter heal.
The years went by but the family remained in their small town where it was common knowledge what had happened. The girl had to complete her education in the full glare of the student body’s attitude. She was at best a curiosity; at worst she was someone to tease. Her mother was always there for her with a shoulder to cry on.
Suddenly, the horrific news was received that the rapist was being discharged from prison early, having earned a discount for good behaviour. He chose to come back to the same village, the place of his birth.
It was while he was having a drink one night in the local bar that the girl’s mother walked in and poured flammable liquid over him and set him alight. A few weeks later he died of his burns suffered over ninety percent of his body.
The daughter has said that her mother considered that the action she took restored her own daughter’s pride and that of the entire family. She did not want them to live forever as victims, and that the penalty that the courts imposed would be worn by her mother as a badge of honour.
Next: Men Against Rape.
Copyright © 2007 Eugene Carmichael
