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Sunday, September 2, 2007

LOVE SCAMS








I was contacted by a family member who is being driven crazy by their elderly and very lonely father who is being scammed by someone who says that she is lonely and in the same boat as he. The story so far is that he went on-line to find a soul mate following his wife’s death, and was immediately contacted by someone who says that she is a widow.

She lives in Africa but would dearly love to move to the West, but her husband left her deeply in debt. She would love to come to him as soon as she can clear away what is owed. He is besotted with her and has been sending her large sums of money. Someone, who was concerned for his welfare alerted his daughter, and now it has become a family nightmare.

No doubt there are a great number of success stories of genuine love found on the Internet. But I am equally certain that one has to be super cautious, even more so than when meeting a complete stranger in person.

Fundamentally, something is wrong when someone you have never met in person is asking you for money. That sends up very big red flags. Should it happen to you, the proper thing to do is at least discuss it with someone whose judgement you trust.

Although no one is safe from the scammers, I’m particularly concerned about the most vulnerable, the elderly. The professionals know exactly the signs to look for and to exploit. Such people are on their own, their families are getting on with their own lives, and even those who have the benefit of living with sons or daughters are still at risk, because this part of their lives are private. Children cannot help, other than to arrange meetings between people locally, if that is possible.

The modus operandi of the scammer is to get a dialogue going and to turn up the heat. When the mark is expressing undying love then they move to spring the trap, gently at first, but their script is pure theatre, and they won’t stop until they have bled their mark absolutely dry.

Here are some of the classics:
· The actor (for that is what they are), says that they have traveller’s cheques but no bank account. Could you please cash these and send them the money. The cheques will be forgeries, but of a very high quality. Once you cash them and send the money it will be from your bank account that restitution will be made to the bank.
· They will find themselves in some kind of difficulty requiring an urgent infusion of funds, and they cannot think of any other source of help than you. Please wire the funds immediately or the most dire consequences will happen to them.
· Even where you travel to meet with your on-line lover who is in some far off land, and you become engaged to her with the intention of bringing her to be with you, if she is asking you for money she will most probably have a whole string of men to whom she is doing the same thing.
· Younger men, or people who say they are younger prey mercilessly on older women whom they hope have money. They send all sorts of pictures of their tanned bodies that are not even their own. Because of the mix of emotions with common sense, often emotions win out. People really do suspect that they are being scammed, but they need to hear the words spoken that make them feel good.
· It is a fact that absolutely anyone can be conned, even people who are savvy and who should know better. However, if they are caught in a weak moment when they are vulnerable they can be sucked in just like the rest of us. Keeping this in mind you should know that it is no shame if you become an unwitting victim. Do yourself a favour and use your commonsense and cut your losses short. Trust your instincts.

The profile of a scammer is that of a sociopath, someone who is entirely anti-social. Both men and women can fall into this category, and they are utterly heartless. Half of the conning is for fun, because they can do it. They love the manipulation, and the grander the scheme the better.

Best advice, if you’ve gone on-line seeking romance and the person purporting to love you starts asking for money, know this, they are probably out to break your heart and your bank account. Beware!


Copyright © 2007 Eugene Carmichael