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Saturday, March 9, 2013

Spanish Fiestas

A massive Monument as part of Valencia Fallas.
It has to be seen, and heard to be believed! 

At the moment here in Valencia there are at least two major fiestas on-going. One is Las Fallas in Valencia City and suburbs, and the other is La Magdalena that is taking place in Castell√≥n. These are both lavish and very loud because the logic goes that the noise scares away the old man of Winter. In Valencia City it usually scares away the city inhabitants too who probably thought at one time, long ago, it was charming, but by now the non-stop noise is driving them crazy and out into the quiet of the country.

I got to thinking about Spanish festivals in general, and as an exercise I turned back time before any of these rituals got started, and I made the assumption that it was my idea in the first place and that I had to go out and sell the ideas to various town halls. However, instead of approaching mayors in Spain, let's see what would have happened had I gone in to see Mr. Johnson, mayor of London.

Me: Mr. Johnson! Mr. Johnson!  Have I got an idea for you that will make London one of the most exciting and visited places in the world.

Boris: Oh yes, and what would that be?

Me: You could encourage people to bring out all of their old furniture and pile it at crossroads, and then at a certain pre-arranged time they could set them on fire. From the air it would make London appear to be on fire.

Boris: Bloody H......Well, you may have something there!

Me: In the fullness of time things would progress from simple old furinutre to amazing monuments depicting events in a satirical manner, and you Sir, would feature prominently.

Boris: But wouldn't that present a grave health and safety issue?

Me: Ealf 'n safety be damned man, live a little.

Boris: Just give me a second while I enter this in my smartphone. (Boris types and speaks out loud his understanding of what I had just said, but in reality he types, "Help! There's a madman in my office. Send a dozen big guys and a very strong straightjacket.)

Me: You could also consider closing off a small street and encouraging as many people as you can to go inside the street, then you could have about ten raging bulls at one end, then you could sic 'em on the people.

Boris: Good God man, wouldn't people get hurt?

Me: Not only that some will get killed, but that's how people will know how dangerous it is.

Boris: O.K. Just go along with these twelve men and explain your ideas to them, they are a committee. The jacket they want you to wear is to keep you warm.

Me: Oh! O.K.  Another thing you could do fellas is a rather novel way to use up 200,000 kilos of tomatoes.

There is no place like Spain. I love it!

Copyright (c) 2013  Eugene Carmichael