The statistics are of great concern that tell of the failure rate of the modern marriage. Although most couples think that their marriage will last, and everyone wishes them well, but it must surely be unsettling to the couple to know that out of every three weddings taking place at the moment, one will not last “until death do us part.” Unless, of course, death comes quickly. Some marriage ceremonies, and the planning that went into the day actually last longer than the subsistence of the marriage itself. One guy told me that his marriage started to fall apart on the honeymoon. I’m sure that is not such an isolated case as one might think.
Then again, perhaps it’s not actually a case of marriage failures if you accept that we are now into the age of serial marriages. It is said that the acceptable lifetime length of a serial marriage is about seven to ten years. Those of you who remember Elizabeth Taylor, the actress, and stood in awe as she entered into one marriage after another now realise she was signalling the way into the future. Yet another example of the artist leading the way of lifestyle change.
Before I get too deep into the subject, let me say right now that I shall save my son from making the basic mistake that most men make when getting married for the first time. We all think that by marrying our sweetheart, the most beautiful girl in the world, who loves us; a person who does anything at all for us; who is ready and willing to make love with us at a moment’s notice; who is willing to try all sorts of new and delightful sexual “things” with us; that by marrying her we will never have to worry ever again about someone to satisfy our sexual longing and needs. Wrong!!!!!
Perhaps the truth is that once we get married the love of our lives no longer needs try so hard. (But, some wives actually do try even harder to make a success of it.) When we cross the line and enter into the marriage contract do we transfer all the power to her? The power of which I speak is the absolute control of our sex lives, and ultimately, the power to dictate whether we can continue to reside in the house that we acquired from our own efforts, and in some cases, the house that we built with our own hands.
These things a young man needs to consider before he takes the big step. To keep her involved where she has to work to keep your interest, the transfer of such power to her perhaps should be avoided at all costs. Or, maybe her power and control can be limited through a pre-nuptial contract. (These are not quite proven as yet,) Between artists this is a popular arrangement. After all, a marriage agreement is simply a contract between the two parties, (after we remove the niceties of dressing up for church and the romantic aspect). I don’t say never make the commitment, just be sure your son knows what is the reality.
Below are some of the promises we make when the man of the cloth says repeat after me:
“All my worldly goods upon thee I do endow.”
If you really won’t mind it when she walks off with said worldly goods then by all means speak loudly and clearly so that we can all hear you. These days modern man is saying “are you nuts!”
“For better or worse, for richer or for poorer.”
Worse!! Define poorer. I think most women will tell you that they fully expect at least two holidays abroad per annum for the purpose of shopping till they dropping. So, get real mister about that poorer and worse thing.
“We promise to be honest and faithful to each other, until death do us part.”
Without putting too fine a point on it in church, this generally means that both promise to take care of the other’s emotional and sexual needs until the end. One particular wife, when being reminded of this part of her vows exclaimed: “Oh sure! Throw that in my face, why don’t you!”
Perhaps it`s not marriage as an institution that is an anachronism, but merely some of the traditional vows that need re-writing for these modern times. Have your say. Marriage vows as you understand them. Fair or foul?
Future subjects: “Divorce-the driving force”; “Viagra for the elderly gentlemen.” “Are you emotionally vacant?” “Are you a gracious guest?”
E-mail your views to mailto:eugene.spain@g.mail.com and let us discuss it.
Copyright © 2006 – 2007 Eugene Carmichael
No comments:
Post a Comment