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Saturday, October 22, 2016
I am so ashamed
Gretchen Kelly writes blogs. One of her blogs that appeared in The Huffington Post, (I think) of the 23rd November, 2015, she wrote, under the title, "The things all women do that you don't know about."
Oh? What could that be? I thought. So I read her long article, and by the end of it I was shamed to be a man.
What she meant by her title is that every day a woman can expect to be harassed or propositioned or touched or stared at, and she just sucks it up and keeps her mouth closed to keep the peace.
I have always been aware that there are significant differences between the lifestyles of men and women, to the extent that there has been this mystery that exists in my mind. Generally I applaud and respect the difference. I guess that I have made the mistake of putting women on a pedestal because I think they don't need or want to be there. But for me they have been my opposite specie to be admired, respected and sometimes loved.
Gretchen's article details the disgusting daily things that all young women are subjected to by us males. Usually by males with power to commit such behaviour, but behaviour that they should know better to control. Of course it's all sex based.
Let me tell you what my rather naïve impression has been. When I was a young man life was conservative. Females covered up, and they never opened their legs even if they were wearing slacks. They were super demure and if our eyes met they would turn away immediately. During my early years I never heard of a rape. I was about twelve when a case of manslaughter was prosecuted because a man struck his girlfriend and she went down and her skull was cracked open. That was a major scandal.
Times changed and females began to come out of their shell. They showed more flesh on the beach and in the street. They walked taller with more confidence as they became better educated and got good jobs. Some even earned more money than their tradesman husbands.
The worst sin I recall making against a girl was to take her for a ride on my shiny new motorbike, and for that I was told by my mates that she would give me sex. So, I told her that I wanted sex or she would have to walk back, not even realising that would have been rape.
The girl slapped me so hard that I was knocked off my feet, and then she threatened that her father and brothers would come after me if I didn't take her back promptly. Respect! That is what she knocked into my head, and I never did it again.
Now I'm learning that women are subject to sexual remarks, staring at their boobs or bums, inappropriate touching and proposals; and non-consensual sex if they want to get ahead in their careers. What a despicable lot we men can be.
Add to all the above the fathers who force their daughters to have sexual intercourse with them, or the brothers who molest their sisters; and those bastards who date rape by drugging women, and we men have a lot to answer for.
We can start by not participating in locker room talk about women. We can keep our hands to ourselves until it is appropriate to use them in a consensual way. We can wish that the rich and powerful guys would restrain themselves and act like decent humans, but we have heard how power seems to give people the presumed right to treat others. This is a truly a disgusting state of affairs.
Ladies, you will probably be surprised to learn that I do appraise your bodies when you are not aware, but I don't want to do anything about it these days. In my youth if I liked what I saw the pursuit began.. Some of you were not interested, and some were offended that I even took an interest. However, I only made a pass in the appropriate place where men and women came together to meet one another, and I was never rude.
As I think hard on my own behaviour in relation to the above list of sins of men, if I could think of something that needs and apology from me I would now give it. What I will do is offer my sincere apology to anyone whom I may have genuinely offended. I certainly would not have intended the offence.