The End of the World as we know it! (Part Three)

The Grim Reaper has arrived!

In parts One and Two I wrote of the seeming meltdown of the world order as oil prices soared, social order went to hell, and people were losing their homes. I predicted there was much more to come, but while I was right about that, I certainly wasn’t expecting what we got!

How does a company that has been in business for more than 150 years suddenly find that it cannot continue to trade. Didn’t they learn anything at all over all that time while in business? Suddenly we find that it was not just one or two companies that were in trouble but the entire banking system. Now governments all around the world have been forced into action to prop up the capitalist form of doing business. How did we come to this point?

The short answer is that it was because of the way we do things. Our capitalist system runs on credit. We are all expected to live beyond our means. Credit cards arrive in the mail urging us to step out from beyond our safe “living within our means” policy, and go borrow, borrow, borrow! We are urged that it is important to keep up with the Jones’ next door.

It is a shame to be the only family in the neighbourhood driving a ten-year old car. Still using the old big chunky television? Why, when you can bring home a flat screen for no money down and pennies per month. Are you actually renting the place in which you live? Don’t you know that home ownership is essential; otherwise you are throwing your money away.

Well, now the business world are coming to face what are being called toxic loans on their books. These are loans and mortgages that people were given, sometimes railroaded into, that they can no longer afford to pay. When interest rates were low they were sucked in, and subsequently rates have risen and Gotcha! Many young families are now being thrown out and their homes are taken over by the same kind bankers who drew them into the mess.

Children are being taken out of private schools to be put into the public system; people are losing their jobs, and in the first case of its kind (lately) in the United States, a man killed his entire family and himself because they were broke and losing their home.

Meanwhile, as an astonishing first time ever, capitalist governments are taking up equity positions in private enterprise in order that such businesses have money to continue to trade. Make no mistake about it, this is nationalisation, something that is so abhorrent to Western governments that they have to hold their noses while doing it.

In the case of one entire country, Iceland, it finds itself technically bankrupt. Imagine that, an entire country has gone broke. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum are the many 20 to 25 year old young women who are declaring bankruptcy because they have so overspent themselves on all the things that modern society insists that they do. How shameful is that?

This is clearly an-going story, so I shall be back with an update. Meanwhile, the question arises as to what can we do as individuals to protect ourselves? The problems are so large and so deep, covering so much territory that it is difficult to know which way to jump. Governments are taking strategic steps to guarantee your deposits in banks, so if that is your only concern perhaps you can relax. Certainly, without those guarantees even more banks will go to the wall as customers demand their money.

If you’re an investor on any of the stock markets you are certainly at very great risk as we see volatility being the order of the day. Mainly, it seems to be a case of hanging on and hoping that all those over-paid executives haven’t made too big a mess of things.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

The Media

It’s a very good thing that I’m my own editor, otherwise this piece would never see the light of day. That’s because it’s about the news media and all its faults. The one thing that both the electronic and print media do well is report on the mis-steps and bad fortune of the public at large, but when it comes to having their own sores exposed they are very shy.

You can take your pick of the world’s media, they all pretty much march to the same drummer. The ironic thing is that they can only do so because of the support that we, the very people whom they so love to destroy, give them. What’s wrong with this picture?

In trying to start my rant I am finding it very hard to know where to begin. Which country has the worst press? I used to think that it was England with their News of the World, and the other tabloid papers. But America’s no better! It’s about what sells.

Now, of course, when I was a young lad I was discouraged from telling tales out of school. It was not a very noble thing to come into contact with interesting information, only to go as quickly as possible to pass it on. Well, that is exactly what the media do, and they all too often succumb to the temptation to place their own opinion or bias upon the news item.

You have seen the news interviewers yourself interrupt their guests, who they have asked to come on to share their views, only to shape the interview to satisfy the host’s own point of view. They seem to think that this is about being a professional. The fact is that they are like little boys and girls having tantrums because their opinion is the only one that matters, or so they think.

In the United States, Bernard Goldberg, a long-term news correspondent at CBS wrote a book after he retired called “Bias” an insider’s view of delivering the news with a liberal slant. He was condemned and ostracised because the media can’t even admit that it has an opinion about the news.

This is my point about news reportage: it’s all about someone’s point of view. Yes, I know that they control the printing presses and that they can say whatever they want. However, there’s something called the Media Trust. I can’t even begin to imagine what real work this group does as it sure does nothing about controlling the quality in reporting.

The late Princess Diana is a superb example of the hound dog mentality of the press corp. On one occasion she had been visiting a female friend’s home, only to emerge to face a battery of cameras. They actually chased her down the street to her car, but before she got there she came to a stop alongside a wall as she cowered from the continuing flashes. I thought as I watched that clip that those bastards will chase her to her death.

Perhaps you’re an editor of a small town newspaper where nothing newsworthy ever happens. This is called punishment and is the place where disgraced editors get sent. One of the tricks of the trade is to focus on a few members of the community in good standing and to build them up in stature, while at the same time looking for a mis-step that can be blown up and scandalized. If they request your opinion on something you can be sure they will go and find a contrary point of view. Beware of friendly news people! I have even seen capable and honest news brokers respond to the directives from “upstairs” to get tough.

Even the weather can be an ally. During this past Summer the area of Southern United States took several hits from hurricanes. Poor Haiti took one hit after another, but that was not where the major channels amassed their people. As residents were ordered to leave New Orleans the press came crowding in, because that was where the story was supposed to be given New Orleans history. When the storms changed direction they left to head for the next projected hotspot to be able to report on the expected death and destruction left by nature’s wrath.

I watched as the Force Five hurricanes were downgraded to a One, and the feeble efforts of the presenters to justify their presence. How absolutely pathetic and loathsome is that? They feed on bad news. They want images of people crying who have lost everything. The more dramatic, the better for the cameras! As viewers, we know only too well that people lose their homes and possessions and they cry. Please, give these people the only thing they have left, some privacy.

I would not be fair and balanced without presenting the other side of the media. They expose the crooks and bad politicians; they open up shady dealings to public scrutiny and hold governments accountable. In this regard they do a job that is actually beneficial to the public. I guess all that other stuff can be called entertainment for as one paper said, “Inquiring minds want to know.”

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Secrets II

As a member of a secret group, is there a feeling of being special just because it’s secret?

Let me be clear: What I’m talking about might be different to privacy, although I believe that generally it’s thought that the two are one and the same. I think that the right to privacy in our lives is an inalienable right; but secrecy is quite another thing.

Very public people who are professionals are still entitled to a private life. Simply put, as human beings we are not designed to always and forever be on show. We need down-time to be able to relax. The mobile phone is one of the most invasive objects to have been invented in the past 100 years. It invades our privacy in all manner of times and places, and more surprisingly it’s amazing the things we interrupt to answer.

In my last blog I talked about the weight, responsibility and honour of keeping the secret that we promised we would. Not everybody is automatically able to do this. For some people it requires deliberate practice to learn how to keep quiet when you long to blurt it out.

WikiHow, the on-line advisor at www.wikihow.com/Keep-a-secret, suggests the following things to help you keep mum about important information: (Words in italics are my own.)
1. Keep your motivator in mind. If you let the information out how damaging will it be?
2. How long do you need to keep the information to yourself. There is nothing worse than struggling to keep the information, only to find that it has passed into the general population.
3. Force yourself not to tell. This is about having the discipline to keep your mouth shut. As discipline goes, this form is quite extreme as the inclination to tell is one of our basic human characteristics.
4. Never drop any hints that you have secret information: Should you do so it will only be a matter of time before you let it out.
5. Avoid the 20 questions if someone thinks that you have something. News reporters do this all the time. They assume that you know something and they attack your soft spot. Don’t fall for it.
6. Don’t even bring up the topic within which is hidden the secret. That’s too easy for the inquisitive. Once the topic is on the table the forbidden information is a mis-spoken word away.
7. Defensiveness is good. If your questioner has figured out that you have the information there’s nothing wrong with being defensive about it. It’s OK to say I’m not going to talk about it.
8. Lie, if necessary. This would be an extreme thing to do, but if the information is so important, that would be better than releasing it. Politicians do it all the time.
9. Tell it to a stuffed animal. If you are breaking at the seams and you just have to tell it, do so to a stuffed animal. Preferably not one that has an eves- dropping microphone.
10. You can also just say the secret to yourself. Sometimes, just saying it is all that is needed to make it manageable.
11. Change the topic. If the topic comes up in a conversation and you hold secret information about it, as suavely as you can, try changing the subject. This works, as I have done this very thing.
12. Pretend you don’t know any secrets. This works well by simply refusing to confirm or deny that you know anything at all.
13. Never pass secret information to unreliable people. Stay a thousand miles away.
14. If your motivator is that the information is simply embarrassing, perhaps by some simple editing it can be made more acceptable.
15. Can you share the secret with one other trusted person? This is a dangerous suggestion for once the information passes to a third person it can no longer be assumed a true secret. However, there are whole groups who share confidential information so it just depends on the culture within which you operate.

“The Way to Truth” blog states that “Guarding a secret is the same as guarding one’s chastity. Those who keep a secret, whether personal or a friend’s. keep themselves chaste. Conversely, those who spread secrets damage their honour and reputation by leaving them unguarded.”

The business of secret keeping is indeed serious. However, sadly it is perhaps one of the most understated.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Secrets!

“Information that is kept, or meant to be kept private (by one, or a few individuals)”.

Recently a friend brought the matter of secrets to my attention, and that got me to thinking about the whole subject of what are secrets, and how should they be treated. Why is it that news reporters try hard to get their hands on your secrets so as to report them on the front pages or the evening news? If secrets are not important, why does everybody perk up at the sound of the word?

Let me warn you that should you ever wish to research this subject you will find it’s like jelly. You place your thumb on a part and the rest swishes away. The one thing that we can start with are the types of secrets. Military, industrial, commercial, artistic, religious, sporting; and the type that I’m going to deal with are personal secrets. For me, this is the most troublesome.

At one time I was engaged in a public study of a very sensitive nature. I conducted my research on a person-to-person basis in confidence. On one occasion I met with a group. My job was to collate the information and develop a report to my superiors. To my horror, one of the women with whom I met told her mother about our meeting, and her mother challenged me, saying that due to our personal friendship I should have told her about it. I refused to confirm or deny that I had even met with her daughter.

Keeping secrets is a very difficult thing to do, and when a friend approaches you with the question “Can you keep a secret?” you really do need to consider what is being asked of you in its fullest degree. Taking on privileged information from a friend that you are not supposed to divulge to anyone, for that is what a secret is, can be a very worrisome thing. Once you have the information it is human nature to want to share it with someone. If you are not able to share it you will begin to feel the weight of it.

The probable reason why you were asked to accept the information is that the other person was feeling the need for relief and to pass it along. It had become too much to hold in. When you pass information like this, having said you wouldn’t, that goes straight to your integrity and your honour.

There are professional people who take on their client’s secrets, and some are charged with holding those secrets lawfully. How do they cope? How does the priest protect the secrets from the confessional, and his own sanity? The psychologist takes on nothing but privileged information every day. He, or she cannot simply get drunk to forget.

Who decides on the status of information as to whether it should be held in confidence or not? If your friend says that they are sharing confidential information with you, should it be treated as such, or can you challenge it as non-confidential? Are there certain kinds of information that are commonly considered to be secret by their very nature? I’m thinking that medical data about a patient would be such, as would be financial information.

I personally think that the type of information that flows from personal relationships also fall under that heading. The Way to Truth states that “ Hearts are created as safes for keeping secrets. Intelligence is their lock; will-power is their key. No one can break into the safe and steal its valuables if the lock and key are not faulty.”

Having said that, these days we are seeing people going on television to lay all their washing out for the public to see. Famous personalities wake up to the shock awareness that a book has been written about them by a former lover. Publicity hungry people, who do not have a real life, will jump at the chance to bare all to the public, and the worse their story is, the telling of it seems to be all the more important.

Men and women generally tend to think that we are better than all of the other animals on the earth, but the fact is that it is our integrity and honour that separates us from the animal kingdom. If we have neither we have nothing to promote ourselves above the so-called dumb creatures.

I will have to return to this subject next week, but for the time being I want to suggest two things: (a) If you are the person who wishes to pass a secret, ask yourself why do you need to do this before just pressing it on to your friend. (b) If you are the person being approached with a request to accept privileged information, ask why is it important for you to have it.

The bottom line is that should you keep things that are clearly private, and are meant to be kept that way, to yourself, you will earn your place among high society. Do otherwise and you earn a place in the mud.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Clearing Out!

What is there about having a good old fashioned clear-out of garbage from the garage that feels so good? The answer to that probably lies somewhere in the fact that we do it so rarely, and it requires a certain recklessness to accomplish.

When I pulled up stakes in Bermuda nine years ago to move to Spain I went through an experience that no one should be subject to. Firstly, you should know that I am a squirrel – I tuck things away. I normally throw away nothing much. If it’s save-able then it goes into the garage. Why? Because, it’s my life. I sometimes sit down and wonder what will I leave to tell the story of what I have been in this world. How will I be judged, and by what residue? I think these are important questions that deserve serious answers.

So, with that in mind, imagine how I must have felt to do a complete turnaround and go in and viciously throw out things that I put away for a day of need. Those days actually do arise, and when they do I feel so vindicated that I saved some idiotic thing that I could buy at any ordinary store. Never mind that it took up space, and collected dust for five years or more.

The experience in Bermuda was really quite shocking. After having weekend cash & carry sales from my house for several weekends, I started getting restless and began making runs to the garbage drop-off point. The guard there suggested that I should have garage sales as I was showing up with so much.

I developed a system in the end of not opening anything I had not looked into for at least five years. I simply tossed the box into the fires. It seems to have worked, as I have not moaned about the loss of anything significant in nine years. However, I have to tell you that it takes a lot of nerve, as heaven knows what was in those boxes.

The trick seems to be not to let things pile up like that. How do we not put things away in boxes that we won’t look at for the next five years? What is the system that can be employed to stop us from having to go through, (choose one), the angst or excitement of throwing things away?

It was such a dusty job of pulling out stuff and piling it into my old Fiat station wagon, and when that could carry no more, driving it all to the trash drop-off. If I had some other way of getting home I might have even left the car there, as it really is ready for the scrap yard.

I realize that we usually reserve these exercises for the Spring, but just because it’s Fall is no reason not to take action when the spirit moves us, so I did and got it done. Now, I feel good, my garage looks bigger and more lightsome, and my wife is worried.

Stay tuned for Clearing Out II, due to appear in 2013.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Love Lost

“T’is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” (Alfred Lord Tennyson.)

This famous quotation just about says it all, but nevertheless, there will no doubt be a great number of people who would like to throw a rock at the author. When the passionate relationship comes to an end, and the tears come and the pain sets in, trying to be philosophical about things comes very hard.

Why is it that when you have something so good it has to end? Why are you not allowed to hold on to it to the end of time? In real life, all manner of things can interfere so that the perfect thing plays itself out to a natural end. And then you hit the wall and just lay there as a cripple.

Why do we do these things to ourselves? I don’t believe its because we actually like the feeling of pain. No, that can’t possibly be the answer. No one will actually want to be brought down hard and pinned to the ground all alone.

So, we turn to the Internet to see if there’s anyone else going through the same thing, and we find to our utter amazement that there’s a whole industry dedicated to breaking up. There’s Relationship Blues, and Adjustment and or Conformity; there are poems and other inspirational topics, and a whole lot more

Well now, you need not feel quite so alone when it seems as though the sky has fallen. Now you can join the crowd and get yourself on the road to recovery. I suggest that for a start you go to http://www.wikihow.com/ dealing with the subject of breaking up. It’s the best offering that I’ve found that provides a whole list of things you might be interested in.

They suggest that it will be helpful to consider what happened in detail. Accept your own pain so that you avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Remember, it’s never just one person’s fault. Life happens, and you’re a part of it.

Once you’ve made the decision you should most probably stick to it. Your reasons are probably well grounded and will re-occur in the future if you can’t find the strength now.

Keep a respectable distance to let your ex find his or her own feet. Breaking up is nasty business and a real major pressure regarding stress. Give yourselves a chance. Time will help you sort through things, even correcting any mistakes.

Is there hate involved? Could be, as it takes something significant to tear you apart. If there is, deal with it calmly, maturely, and with honesty. Time will also help you get over whatever is bothering you.

Friends, if you have any were made for times like these. Network like never before. Talk to them, do things with them, get busy. Let them help to take your mind off the pressure.
Lastly, don’t forget to pursue other happiness, and that includes moving along with your life. Need to forget someone? Take up with someone else and concentrate. However, don’t fall for the re-bound thing. If you fall into love with a next person, be sure that you are really feeling it and are not just covering up the pain.

Again, that Internet address is http://www.wikihow.com/ regarding breaking up. And one other thing: Good Luck!

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

When Winter met Summer

Lady

Chester

Summer

Winter

All dogs depicted are actors

A Shaggy Dog Story

This is a dog love story, just to prove to those of you who are sceptical that animals have the power of true love and caring.

Winter is our big Golden Retriever. He is about eight years old, a real shaggy dog, and overweight, just as I am. He is a Spanish animal who joined our family about seven years ago. When I first encountered him he had been brought into an apartment by his owner, and the first thing he did was piss on the floor. The apartment was located on the beach, so among a lot of screaming about that disgusting dog he was taken outside and onto the beach where he promptly shat in the sand.

My impression was that this was one of the world’s most objectionable animals, and if he were mine I would shoot him. Six months later he was introduced into our family to avoid him being taken to the dog pound. We had another dog that we brought with us from Bermuda. I chose him from the local SPCA as he was the most dangerous looking one there. I wasn’t looking for a pet. I was looking for a killer. My wife had arrived home at the same time that someone was in the process of breaking into our home. My previous dog, a cross between a German Shepherd and a Collie, who I named Lady, had passed away at the age of seventeen. I needed a sentry with a license to kill to replace her.

Chester was his name, and when he took one look at Winter he wanted to tear his face off. Finally, after a lot of encouragement from the top dog, that’s me, the two of them settled and became the best of friends. But Chester had a freedom jones, he just had to roam. Give him half a chance and he would be gone, taking Winter with him. They once went walk-about for seven weeks.

At age fourteen Chester went off to doggy heaven, leaving Winter on his own. Chester had dominated Winter to such an extent that he didn’t even know if it was alright to eat. He grieved for the loss of his friend and I had to pay him extra special attention through daily walks and grooming to help him through his depression.

Then one day this skinny bitch just showed up. She was wearing a collar so she was cultured but very skittish. She made her appearance at the same time that Summer began, so it was a natural that she would be named Summer to us. Winter still had all his equipment but he was very confused about what he was supposed to do with it. Chester had been fixed so Winter thought he was a girl dog and tried it on. It was funny to watch that action. Chester sure put him right in a hurry, and since then Winter just seemed to forget about his kit.

Summer is a small dog, very skinny and as homey looking as they come. But, she was full of life and obviously very taken with our big bear of a friend. They had silent conversations and lots of smooching as she was always in his face. She would go outside the open gate and encourage him to follow. Evidently it was while they were away that Winter got his mojo working because it was not too long before she started putting on weight.
Then came a time when she went missing for a couple of days during which she gave birth to her litter. She then showed up again, all bouncy, happy and skinny again. She was all over the big guy and he was quite apparently delighted to see her. Eventually she persuaded him to come see his kids. Off they went, the happy parents to spend some quality time with the family. This scene has been repeated several times. Naturally we were curious and wanted to see what our big boy had helped to produce. However, she was having none of that. She never did lead us to the litter. In fact, clearly she belongs to a family, but I haven’t been able to trace her to her home.

Now, when I take him for a walk his entourage consists of me, Summer, and our cat Murphy. The cat makes a game of it by running on up ahead and hiding in the tall grass, only to jump Summer, who is hardly much bigger than a large cat herself. Summer is so nervous that she falls for the joke every time.

Lovely! Just lovely!

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Communicating-Part Six

Handling Information


Between partners the first rule of thumb should be “Give and Take.” It is also the first rule to be broken if we take our own positions too strongly. When that happens we get into the principle of the thing, forgetting that principles come at a very high price. The tricky balance is to give in on the issue when the balance shifts even slightly against the position that you hold.

Having once learned and mastered the art of active listening you will become a very popular person, as people will want to bring their problems to you. What do you do with all the information that you acquire? It seems to me that the absolute essential is that you maintain the information entrusted to you in complete confidence. It must not be shared with anyone as once it passes to another it is out of your control.

Men have the greatest problems with what to do with the information they receive from their female partners. We feel compelled to offer our suggestions to resolve the problems, but our ladies often only want our empathy. We are not allowed to do anything else while receiving this information. We have to put aside the newspaper, turn off the tv or the stereo and pay attention to what is being said. We can make encouraging remarks, and best of all we can offer our partners hugs, but solutions are the province of our mate. She can figure out what needs to be done even more effectively than we can.

The topic of appropriate handling of confidential information fills many volumes. It is surprising how many institutions fail in their duty to protect confidential information entrusted to them. I recall several years ago boxes of banking records were found on an open trash dump. To embarrass the culprits an advert was placed in a local paper listing the names of the people affected who were invited to call in at an office to collect their personal information. To say that someone’s head rolled for that is an understatement.

Data protection is a serious business and in most countries is covered by legislation. It is a well-known fact that information between doctors and patients; lawyers and clients; and certain other professionals is absolutely protected. In other situations, private information is considered so important that people will go to prison to protect their sources.

Where there is an absence of law there will be ethical considerations. Information shared with you in confidence should not be passed to a third person under any circumstances. Unfortunately, all too often such confidential information makes its way in the form of gossip. No matter how natural a thing it is for humans to do, gossiping is one of the worst forms of communications, and it is engaged in equally by men and women.

Curiously, if you decide that you don’t want to further a particular thread and you try to track the particular bit of gossip back to its source, someone will stonewall you. The need to protect their source of the information becomes paramount. However, if people will talk about others behind their backs to you, they will also happily talk about you to others. Stop Gossip Now!

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Communicating-Part Five -Listening

We are born with two ears but only one mouth. Coincidence?

Just how important are listening skills to effective communicating? There are some who maintain that effective listening requires the larger share of listening and talking. All too often we open our mouths to speak to our companion in spite of the fact that we really did not hear what was just said to us. We are so busy in formulating our own thoughts that the other person’s speech is drowned out. In such cases we are talking at one another instead of with each other.

The main problem is that men and women speak in separate dialects, as someone put it. In fact, I have heard the word genderlect to describe how wide the divide between the genders really is. That being the case the ability to actively listen is critical to understanding what the other person is saying. Think of the popular image of having a session with a psychologist where you lie on a couch while the professional sits behind you. As you talk he, or she repeats what you say and asks you how you feel, rather than imposing their own opinion.

I know people who are really good at the active listening thing. Usually they are very calm and they get you to do most of the talking. To be honest I find them to be a little bit irritating, but the fact is that often I realise that they are helpful.

Those people who are the most helpful seem to have the following attributes in common:

They actually look at me when I am speaking, and they make eye contact with me. This is a little disconcerting because it makes me realise that here is a person who is interested enough to hear my every word, so therefore I should not be wasting his time with nonsense.
They will actually allow me to complete my thought process. Sometimes I have trouble in completing my sentence and they help me find the words. This is the complete opposite of those annoying television or radio hosts who seem to invite guests on their programmes just so that the host gets to inflict his own opinions, often cutting off in mid-sentence the words of the guest. I just hate that when it happens, and it is a sure way to get me to switch off. I want to yell at the tv “you idiot, let your guest finish. I didn’t tune in for your opinion.”
The other thing that I like is their choice of words as I am speaking. It’s not something that I have thought much about until now, but techniques like repeating a sentence or a thought to be sure I have been understood is reassuring, as is to say things like “Really! Tell me more.”
There is nothing more deflating than to be talking to a person who is receiving you like a stone wall. That’s called talking to yourself. However, if the person to whom you are speaking has the time and the interest to care and displays this in his body language, such as through your facial reactions, you will be encouraged, and I believe, the responsibility grows to keep your presentation and your thoughts brief and interesting. When I am trying to be a good listener I find that when the speaker has finished his thread I often have a feeling of being tired.
Finally, we are bombarded daily with information overload, and to cope we need to learn to block out the unnecessary. Unfortunately, a lot of information that we should let through also gets blocked as the screening process is difficult. Just as with our computers we receive a lot of spam, so do our ears and eyes. Driving is made all that more difficult because people think they can sell us things by using billboards, as though we don’t have enough to read with all the traffic signs.

Being a good listener is definitely an acquired skill, one which is very much appreciated. The other half of being a good listener, of course, is what do you do with all that information you have just taken on board. This is where most people come off the railings.

Next week I will look at how you might best be helpful in your feedback.


Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

I

Communicating - Part Four

Men and Women

InterFaith, InterCultural, InterRacial

Communication-wise, as good as it potentially gets between men and women goes something like this: Future partners grow up in the same neighbourhood, go to the same schools, share the same faith, are of the same ethnic group, and even share the same political beliefs. However, even within these groupings the divorce rate is significant. That is because, as Dr. John Gray says, men and women quite naturally come from different planets, or so it seems.

That being the case it will be seen that as we move away from the ideal benchmark things become more complicated the farther afield we go.

So, you’re an American man and you have fallen hopelessly in love with the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen who comes from India. What do you know about the Caste system that she has grown up in?

What if you’re an English woman and you’ve met the most charming man from Afghanistan and you’ve fallen head over heels for him. What of his cultural and religious beliefs? Have you any knowledge of the complicated and deeply held customs that form the society that is Afghanistan?

Even countries that are neighbours have important different attitudes about life. America and Canada, or England and Wales, or Scotland are as close as it gets but there are enough differences to cause great difficulties between mixed couples who are trying to live intimate lives. Just as men and women are supposed to be different, so are people from separate countries. That is the challenge that the human race are set. The objective is to succeed in spite of the difficulties.

The completely peculiar thing is that when we enter into relations that will complicate our lives beyond measure we do so without giving it much thought. Love is a comedian. It just pulls down the curtain on all logic and before we know it we are faced with an immense task of surmounting all obstacles to reach a state of contentment, also known as happiness.

A relationship between the girl or boy next door is usually without the basic elements that exist as standard when crossing cultural and other barriers, such as fear of the unknown and uncertainty, misunderstanding, sense of loss and confusion, ignorance of the other culture and the minefield of disasters that imposes. On the plus side a relationship where both partners have a lot to learn about each other is one less likely to end due to boredom, but there will be a lot of work involved.

If love were not so unpredictable and if cupid didn’t have such a sense of humour we could be scientific when going about our quest to find a mate who was a bit different. For instance, almost all countries have at one time or another been colonised. If those in the mother country so wanted they could make their choice from among the colonies, or vice versa. At least the culture of the mother country would be shared leaving only the indigenous culture to be understood and integrated.

I have read testimonies from couples who are living very complex lives that involve interfaith, or intercultural, or interracial elements, or all three, and they sometimes even stand on opposite sides of the political divide. They swear that they cope, and that they don’t see their lives any more challenging than any one else’s, but I do wonder about the long-term accuracy of that statement. One person is bound to be the stronger personality of the two, and that is the culture that will be dominant.

Having said all that, I personally celebrate diversity, tolerance, understanding and the pursuit of knowledge, and I encourage those who simply follow their hearts wherever it may lead. The Master Architect designed the world in which we live with built-in obstacles to maintain our interest. For some they will rise above and go on to the ultimate level. Others will find their own levels and there they will be happy.

For that is the way it has been preordained, and you don’t have to be religious to believe.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Communicating- Part Three

Between Men & Women


Why do men insist on reading while sitting on the WC?
Because that’s the only place we get the peace and quiet to read to our heart’s content. Some men aren’t even subtle. They have installed a magazine rack in the bathroom. Were it not for reading in the toilet, perhaps we wouldn’t read at all.

Now, having dealt with that great mystery, we move on to look closely at the great divide between how men and women see things so differently.

Fundamentally, men do not do subtle. Ladies, if you want us to know something, just tell us straight out. If you want us to do something, tell us plain and simple. Please don’t hint. If we are driving and you want to stop for coffee, just say so. If you ask me whether I want one I just might say no and keep on driving.

Men are creatures designed to cut to the chase. We understand solutions, but we don’t particularly understand feelings about things. We have enough of a problem understanding this thing called love. About the worst trap you can place us in is the question about how you look in a dress. Most men get that one wrong, and that is usually just as you’re about to go out for the evening.

So! Men, here’s how to handle such questions. You might want to jot this lifesaver down for future use. No matter how she puts the question the answer is : Honey, that dress looks really good on you.” Not, and I repeat NOT: “ Honey, you look good in that dress.” One thing says that she makes the dress look good; the other says that the dress makes her look good. See the difference?

That comes directly from the wisdom of my lady, and she knows semantics. Trust her!

The essential difference between men and women seems to be that men give and want information, and women give and want feelings. One of the worst case scenarios happens in the bedroom. He wants to know whether they are going to get an action going, and she says maybe. Well, we don’t do maybe. We have no idea what to do with maybe.

One of my golden rules is that I never argue with a lady. The man has not been born yet who actually won an argument with a lady. One of their techniques is to bring up things that we have no chance of remembering. Anyway, the two of you will be speaking in different tongues and possibly very heatedly and emotionally, so, advantage goes to the ladies. Even if you do manage to pin her down and back her into a corner where she runs out of firepower she will always have one piece of backup ammunition in reserve, and it is this: She can always say, “Well, whatever!” In women speak, that means, “ Mister, you’re dead meat. Don’t ever speak to me again.” So, you see, you can’t win. It’s preordained that way.

I’m not saying that you can’t put your point of view forward, just don’t rely on convincing her that you’re right, especially if you’re wrong. It will be quite enough to state your case and then leave it with her.

There are some situations that leave a man completely dazed A friend’s wife had been through difficult surgery and was worried about possible scarring. He urged her not to worry as she had the option of plastic surgery. She suddenly turned on him angrily saying it was too bad that he would be upset by the way she looked. He was only trying to be helpful but somehow she saw his response in a very different light. How on earth do we cope with that?

Dr. John Gray, writing in “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” deals with one of the most obvious, and perhaps most vexing problems in inter- gender relations. When she sees his mood darken she will ask, “What’s the matter?” He will invariably answer, “Nothing!” Clearly there is something quite wrong, and she wants to be a help. But he gives her a response that makes her feel stupid and insulted, and so the problem escalates.

The way that Dr. Gray puts it is that we men take our problems into our caves to deal with them alone. When we respond that nothing is wrong, what we are saying in fact is that there is nothing that I wish your help with. I have personally struggled with this, in that it even sounds dopey to me as I say there’s nothing wrong. After all, I know that there’s plenty wrong

Unfortunately it’s not as simple as explaining that I would like to have some space and time to think things through.. Most women will be convinced that they can genuinely help and are likely to press you to open up. His reaction will be “Go away!” So, my advice is to leave him with it until he is ready to talk about it, and he will. Just give him time to think things through. If you’re the source of his problem he needs time to think how best to raise the issue with you.

I will continue with this thread in my next instalment.


Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Communicating-Part Two

Communications
Part Two
Men and Women

The Great Architect seems to have deliberately designed the world to include the different languages as a challenge for humans. It’s simply a geographical accident of birth that will determine the language that you speak as your native tongue.

With that beginning a child is surrounded by his tribe, and he will know his tribe anywhere in the world just by the words spoken. If no-one bothered to learn another language we would be stuck in our tribal lands forever.

Perhaps one of the most ambitious projects to try and overcome the language barrier is the European Airbus. As an experiment in communicating it’s about as bold as it gets. The object was to build an airplane that would actually fly safely as a cooperative endeavour between several nations. Primarily it involved an agreement between Germany, France, Britain, and Spain. It employed 57,000 people working over 16 sites, and ultimately extended participation to the U.S, Holland, Japan and China.

France made the cockpit, flight control and lower middle section of the fuselage.
Britain made the wings and provided the Rolls Royce engines.
Germany made the forward and rear fuselage, and the upper centre fuselage.
Holland made the flaps and spoilers.
Spain made the horizontal tail plane.

Even if there was one common language, say French or English, given that so many people would not be totally proficient because it was not their mother tongue, there would be a lot of room for misunderstanding. In spite of that the airplane does fly and is rated safe. I consider that to be an absolutely amazing success story.

So, in the light of such an outstanding achievement why then do men and women have so much trouble in understanding one another. The popular book, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” points out the very large divide between the two sexes. Most men will likely have had the experience of explaining our thinking on some subject to the women in our lives, only to have had it replayed back to us as something completely different. Supposedly we are speaking the same language, but somehow what comes from our mouths is not what enters the female ear.

Not that this is a one-way problem. Men suffer from the very same thing with the added complication that we’re supposed to only listen and not insert our own annoying solutions. Nor can we read the newspaper or watch tv while listening.

The standard joke goes something like this:

She: Darling, did you realise that today marks the six-month anniversary of our relationship?
He: Really! Six months already!
He thinks: Time for me to take the car in for its six month’s service. He then trains his thoughts on what has to be done for the car, while she is thinking romantic thoughts about the past six months, and the future.

Problem is, this is no joke. The divide between the genders is so wide it’s just an everyday miracle that we are able to achieve anything at all. Supposedly we want the same things from life. Love, security, family, respect, comfort, prestige, friends, community, money. Acquiring those things is where the problems are to be found. As someone said, the devil is in the details.

Most men probably find themselves in hot water with their women through quite inadvertent actions. We don’t deliberately set out to annoy our women, unless we enjoy that sort of thing, in which case we should run, not walk to have our heads examined. We try to please our women and to ensure peace in the family, but no matter how hard we try we are committed to get it wrong.

I once heard a woman friend describe her man as being perfect. I should have had her explain in detail what that meant.

In the next instalment I shall present some classic misunderstandings between the genders.



Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Communicatiing

Dear Reader,

I know that you know that good communications is the key to all understanding. I know that you agree that good communications is of primary importance and is no less that 99% of all successful dealings between human beings. What I’m not certain of is whether we all understand what good communications fully involves.

The topic of communications is truly a very huge one. That becomes particularly apparent when we try to define what it is in a simple, easy to understand single sentence. I’m not certain that you will agree that I have succeeded with this attempt, but I define good communications between humans as “ the unambiguous transfer of thoughts, intentions, and facts.” In other words, I understood what you said and meant.

Communications is unavoidable in every thing we do and say, and is present in our very thoughts. It therefore follows that we should make the development of our communications skills a top priority. The reality is that most people rely on instinct to get us through the day.

One glance at the wealth of material provided by encyclopaedia as to this theme instantly shows the depth and width that is covered, so the only way to approach something this massive is by picking just a little bit to concentrate on at a time.

Communications between humans in our social setting is what I want to focus on at the moment. I believe that the following is probably more or less correct: communications between peer groups of the same gender are likely to be less troubled by misunderstandings. Between different generations the level of missed cues and frustrations rises dramatically. However, I reserve the highest level for built-in hazardous communications for men-women relations, whether in a business or purely social environment.

I think this is deliberate engineering by whoever designed the way of the world. It shows a very perverse sense of humour, and also provides us with an area of our greatest challenge.

In blogs to come we will discuss various aspects of communications, but for the present there are some guidelines that are generally accepted as being good advice.
· Keep your message short and simple. This is known as the KISS method.
· Think before speaking.
· Be clear in your choice of words, and speak without mumbling.
· In your dealings with your partner, transparency, openness and honesty pay great dividends. Also, it is a fact that your partner will fill in any blanks that you leave, and these will not always be what you would have wanted.

Next we will examine some differences between the thinking mechanisms of men and women.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Psychological Abuse

Physical abuse gets all the press. We can see the cuts, bumps and bruises. We have heard the excuses that the victim gives for her, or his black eyes as walking into doors or cabinet panels. We can tot up the days off sick, but psychological abuse is harder to quantify. Most people couldn’t even describe what it is.

According to Wikipedia encyclopedia, it is a form of emotional abuse that is caused, usually by a person, group or organisation in a position of control against another person or persons in a position of dependency. It is generally practised as a non-physical form of abuse, but its effects can be just as devastating, or worse than physical harm.

In my neighbourhood I am witness to an on-going situation by two families who live on either side of me. In the one home, consisting of six adults and four children, everybody screams at one another. They don’t seem to know what normal volume is, and the way that they get their point across is to shout the loudest. Those people are simply nuts, although I have learned to get used to them.

In the other house it’s a very different, and far more serious matter. It is so serious that I wonder whether I am watching the commission of a crime in slow motion.

The situation is that a father lives with his 31 year-old daughter, who has the mentality of a 7 year-old. The father is totally incapable of dealing with her, as she is very hard work. At times she will simply burst into tears and get into a binge of crying and no-one can do anything to get her to snap out of it. The family bought her a goat as a pet that seemed to work wonders on her temperament. It was something that she could love and focus on, but then one day its usual cries were no longer heard. Seems as though they ate it.

She lived at home with her mother, father, and brother. Recently, her mother died and the brother moved out, leaving just the father and the girl to survive. The father always left the girl to her mother, and now not only does he have to fend for himself, he has to care for the girl who really should be in social services care. Why no-one in the extended family seems to be trying to bring this about is hard to explain. In case I’m wrong I apologise, but it is my belief that nothing is being done to alleviate the situation.

Every day brings more screaming and bullying from him, and more crying from her accompanied by vomiting. I could not be paid to enter that house, it must be in such a state.

The harassment goes on for hours, although there is no indication of physical abuse. Her crying is really something awful to hear. It’s of the wailing-retching type, overlaid by the bellowing of her father.

My question is how will this all end? Does he have an agenda? Is he trying to get her to take her own life? I hardly think she could work out the details. She must live in a state of constant terror, yet here is Spain so many people yell and scream at one another as a matter of course, there would not appear to be any laws being broken that would merit the intervention of the police.

For we foreigners, this is a very frustrating state of affairs, but one in which we have no justification to intervene. The girl has family who are all aware of the situation. None of the relatives want to take her because she will turn their lives into a living hell. She’s the responsibility of her father and he is stuck with her.

I can only hope that social services will somehow be called in to assess the situation and to take her away to a kinder care environment than her father can give. Meanwhile, this continues as the worst case of psychological abuse that it has ever been my misfortune to encounter.


Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Senator Barak Obama's Big Risk

Why I don’t want Barak Obama to Win the White House

I’m not an American, so my observations are those from offshore. But, for the first time in a very long time, American politics are actually interesting. Suddenly, gone is the absolute criterion that only a white male could be seriously considered to occupy the office of President of the United States.

We can all remember that England went through the same mindset until we got Margaret Thatcher, and then many people considered she was the best thing since sliced bread was invented. America, overall, is growing up to realise that prejudice, the act of pre-judging, is usually self-defeating. For the first time, both a woman and a black man have been considered serious contenders for the presidential office.

Hillary Clinton has dropped out of the race because Barak Obama collected the greater number of votes for the Democratic Party’s nomination. We can be sure that for Mrs Clinton that really hurts as she felt some time ago that the nomination should have been hers. But she has been strong in defeat and she is able to muster up the necessary political will to throw her support behind Mr. Obama in the interests of the Democratic Party.

For the time being, she has done a very noble thing in the interest of American women. She has taken the concept of a woman in the White House to a very high jumping off point. She can do no more for the time being. She should reject an invitation from Senator Obama for the number two slot, and he should not offer her that position.

I’m sure that Barak Obama really wants to be elected to the White House, but I hope he loses out to John McCain by a narrow margin. He will have made his point in so much as he needs to at this time. Hillary Clinton has elevated the role of American women in the mind of the voting public, and that means that if a woman can be seriously considered for the White House as President, all women in America must reasonably and seriously be considered for anything that they wish to do.

Barak Obama can stop right now and he will have achieved the same type of heroic result, in that he has raised the place of all black people in America to the same level as whites. That happened in one quantum leap in a very short period of time. If he is defeated at the polls in a respectable finish, he most likely will see the threat against him and his family recede. No-one is talking about this, but we are all thinking about it. Most of all, I’m certain Senator Obama knows the risks associated with his historic run for the White House.

America has a very dark side in the form of white supremacist with guns and the will to use them. Homeland Security will have to be especially vigilant as the biggest threat will come not from overseas terrorists, but those of a home-grown hue.

Leaving out of the equation the risk factor against his life from the rabid racists who must be wondering what on earth is transpiring, there is also the very fact that the present administration is leaving such a mess to be sorted out, I sincerely would not inflict that on either America’s first black or female president. The problems left behind and generated during the past eight years will take several decades to be turned around, so, by all means, leave it to John McCain, another Republican to sort things out, or more likely, to take the blame for not being able to do so. When the world sees a woman or a black man at the helm I want their time in office to be remembered by everyone as the best of times. Instead, the years ahead will be very difficult and a lot of people will suffer hardships that cannot be alleviated any time soon. Those problems will not be the doing of the new administration, but that’s who will get the blame.

Of course, were it possible for either a woman or a black man to do the impossible in eight years and bring America back from the brink, that would be something worth celebrating.

So, sorry Senator Obama, I really don’t want you to “win” the presidency. I don’t want you to have to bear that cross, nor do I want you to put your life in mortal danger for just being there. Your crusade has reached its pinnacle and you have elevated a whole nation of American black people, and black people around the world. You join such historic black figures as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, who had a dream; former Secretary of State and Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff, Colin Powell; former U.N Secretary Kofi Annan, and the present Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice, among others.

You could quit while you’re ahead, but that’s not the American way, and I know you wouldn’t do that anyway. So, please be safe and accept the appreciation of a grateful tribe from around the world. You took us to another level, with dignity, and you gave hope and raised the bar. Already it can be seen to be changing the mindset of people from I can’t, to “ Yes, absolutely, I can!” There can be no turning back. In the words of Dr. Martin L. King, Jr, “We have seen the Promised Land!”

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Nice Guys – Bad Guys

In response to a previous column entitled “Are You a Nice Guy?” a reader sent me a very interesting question: “Why are women more drawn to the Bad Guy?”

Well, we are generalizing, something I dislike because generally, to generalize is just plain wrong. However, our life’s choices are at the root of all. Depending on the choice of mate that we make we are headed in the direction of happiness or sorrow. I can see so many examples of disastrous consequences based on bad choices that I hardly know where to start.

So, let’s start with the question “Why should I care if other people make bad choices?” The answer is that when others around me make damaging choices it somehow comes to involve me through the collapse of friends and family relations, violence in the home and the impact of that on neighbours, and appeals to those of us known as The Public for sympathy and support.

This business of choice is primarily a woman thing. We men think that we chase you and we have a conquest when we catch you, but the truth is that we chase you until you catch us.

One of the most dramatic examples of bad choice I have ever known was that of the lady who grew up in a small town and eventually married one of its leading citizens. She had what appeared to be an ideal life, but without any real provocation, except boredom she gave it all up. She moved away from her town and eventually became involved with a married man who lived with his wife. He treated this lady like a doormat, and he quite regularly beat her.

Those of us who formed her circle of friends never understood why she left her husband in the first place. She always spoke highly of him, the perfect gentleman who respected and loved her dearly. She broke the poor man’s heart and disgraced him in the eyes of the town.

We certainly never understood why she maintained her affair with her bad boy lover. We tried to persuade her to give him up, but the worse he treated her the more determined she was to stay. I once asked him why he treated her so badly. His reply was, “she likes it!”

Many young women are attracted to hardened criminals. They seem to find some sort of status if their man is serving time, and while he is away in prison they will be absolutely loyal to him. One reason being that if they are not, when he is released they will be in for some serious pain.

For men who properly respect women this is completely baffling. If you’re a nice guy you will surely have any number of stories of lost loves to the Bad Boys. Here you are, properly courting the girl you love, doing nice things for her, treating her like a lady when up comes a bad boy who has no respect for your relationship with her, and no respect for her or anything else, and she goes soft in the knees and in the head for him. She is last seen riding off on the back of his Big Bike clinging to him with that peculiar look of rapture on her face.

What seems to be at work here? Psychologists might say that the man who presents no challenge and is too easy also presents no chemistry. Sure, on a pure human-to-human level proper respect and conduct is appreciated, but in the love stakes nice guys really do finish last far too often.

What a horrible realization is that! What a topsy-turvy world we live in. This does not augur well toward the objective of eliminating violence in the home. So many times we will hear the woman say I really did try to make it work. I did everything by the book, so how can I be blamed? Well, the answer my dear is you chose the cretin in the first place.
He was probably one of those your mother warned you about, and when you brought him home she pulled her hair out.

Nice guys are not all simply victims. Guys have choices too, only not the final choice. The woman makes the final choice, but in both sexes we seem not to value that which is too easily attainable. To have a partner who does not provide us with a challenge seems to devalue that person. We tend to take that person for granted and as our own behaviour becomes cavalier our partner has to work harder, and the whole awful circle is completed.

This is certainly not good news, and I, for one do not have the solution to this quirk in the human condition.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

MEN FOR SALE

First I came upon the above picture, and I vowed that I would have to write a story to suit the picture. Then, a friend sent me one of those stories that have been forwarded around the world several times. It fits my picture, and just in case you are one of those people who have not had it show up on your computer, here goes:

In our busy society we are finding it more difficult to take the time necessary to find a mate, so we use on-line dating services of all sorts. Well, of course, it had to happen sooner or later that someone would come up with a supermarket that sold potential husbands.

There were strict instructions posted at the entrance:
1. You may visit this store only once. There are six floors, and the value of the merchandise increases as the shopper goes up.
2. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next level, but you may not go back down, except to exit the store.

So, because she was so busy, Sheila went shopping for a husband. She checked out the merchandise on the first floor.

These men have jobs.
She went up to the next floor.

Second Floor: These men have jobs and love children.
And on she went to the next.

Third Floor: These men have jobs, love children, and are very good looking.
She kept going.

Fourth Floor: These men have jobs; love children, are seriously good looking, and help with housework.
She hesitated, but continued on up.

Fifth Floor: These men have jobs, love children, are real hunks, help with housework and are strongly romantic and caring.
What is she looking for? You would think it must surely be on this floor. She considers, but then she just has to see what’s on the next floor.

Sixth Floor: There are no men for sale on this floor. It only exists to prove the point that women are never satisfied. The store is yet to sell it first take-home husband.

To be politically correct, the owners also opened a store across the street where men could shop for a wife. Same rules apply.

First floor: All the wives on this floor just love to have sex.
Second floor: These wives love sex, and as well are all independently wealthy.
Floors Three through Six have never been visited.

Men are so simple and uncomplicated.

I offer my thanks to the creator of this funny story. I liked it a lot and hope you got a laugh as well, although some things that are funny are also too true.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

The End of the World - Part Two

In part one of this thread, I tried to sketch a possible logical domino effect that would arise from a shortage of oil in the market, or oil that simply cost too much. I wrote that the problem would spread right throughout the economy, and gave as an example how the farmer would be hampered in raising livestock or growing produce, and what little was sent to market would cost so much that the average person would be shut out.

I also wrote of the impact on jobs and the ability to earn a living and pay the mortgage. This would bring ordinary people in conflict with one another, people who normally can be counted on to live in peace and harmony.

Well, it has started. The long gas lines are back; transportation sector workers, who are in many cases independent contractors with one or two trucks, are now feeling the pinch as they see the cost of fuel escalating and their disposable income disappearing. The truckers are on strike with ugly scenes appearing daily on the evening news.

Here in Spain, where I live, transportation of goods by road has all but come to a halt, and that includes the delivery of petrol. As I write this, several gas stations have shut down, the supermarkets have no meat of any kind, and all other consumables are fast running out.

Two people have been killed as a direct result of the conflicts on the road, and a third driver was burnt over 95% of his body while he slept in his truck. He was a strikebreaker. He is not expected to survive. Now, fuel is being delivered again by armed police escort and in convoy.

The fishermen have come into the protest refusing to sell their fish, instead they are throwing them into the street, as are many farmers who are dumping produce rather than sell it for the low profit, or no profit that sales would represent. Taxi drivers are protesting as well they might be expected to do.

What comes next: Food fights; food riots; hunger; theft of fuel and food; unemployment; homelessness; mortgage repossessions; the army on the streets, and more?

The good news is that as I write this things have returned to normal as the security forces have brought things under control. However, the root cause of the problem goes unaddressed.



Where and when did this all begin? Certainly the answer to that question will be highly debatable and complex, but I’m fairly sure that one key element was the very unwise decision for the United States of America to engage in an unnecessary war with Iraq.

I’m aware that is a controversial thing to say. However, that could not have been helpful at all. One direct impact was to weaken the dollar overseas, and that may have encouraged OPEC members to directly seek to increase the value of their product to compensate for the exchange losses suffered because oil is quoted in US dollars.

The fact remains that within a two-year period oil has gone from $35.00 a barrel to $139.00 a barrel. You don’t have to be an economist to know that such a development means big problems throughout the world. While consumers may take to the streets by the millions, the only useful thing that we can do is reduce significantly our demand. Start by asking yourself before setting off in the car, “is this trip really necessary? Can I achieve the same end by fax or e-mail or telephone?”

We did exactly that for the few days of uncertainty when petrol stations ran out of fuel. We also better organised our trips so as to optimise our fuel usage. It would be a really good thing, both for the environment and for our own economic health to make that a part of our daily routine.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

The Maturing of America

Dr. Martin Luther King, jr had a Dream

The following excerpts are taken from the world famous speech of Dr. Martin Luther King, jr, as delivered in 1963. It is by courtesy of The Douglas Archives of American Public Address, prepared by D. Oetting.(Access full speech at http://douglass.speech.nwu.edu)

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.”

“I have a dream that one day my four little children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.”

“Let freedom ring. And when this happens, and when we allow freedom to ring- when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children-black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics-will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty we are free at last!

Hillary, Obama, or John, are all would-be Presidents of the United States of America. Whoever wins in November, America itself has already won in the Court of Public Opinion around the world. America appears to have grown up and is trying to fulfill its promise that anyone can aspire to become president.

These are historic times. I remember the days of protest for equal rights. I remember the days when women in America stood up and declared, “ no more! We will no longer accept second class citizen status.” For black people the journey has been both exceedingly long and dramatic. Beginning from the days of slavery and lynching, discrimination, police beatings, economic suppression, degradation, and marginalization, to acceptance as a serious candidate for the office of President of the United States of America. Most of that progress has taken place in my own lifetime. I simply never believed I would live to see this day.

Other black people have tried seriously to be considered, as have other women, but America has always been stuck with the mindset that you had to be white and male to have any chance of success to occupy The White House. Even the name of the building reflected one of the basic qualifications for the office.

But America has learned a lesson about discrimination and prejudice. In the practise of these two acts we often harm ourselves. We turn our backs on the best qualified, accepting only those who fall into a shallow defined group of approved candidates, and America got what it deserved. It inflicted upon itself white men who were incompetent, stupid, sleazy, dishonourable, and crooks. Of course, it also got some who were exceptionally talented and very progressive for the country.

It is indeed time for change; an idea whose time has come and it will not be denied. Barak Obama has been declared the official candidate of the Democratic Party, and that all by itself is history. Congratulations! America. In order to make that happen the country as a majority has had to throw off its shameful history.

But! And this is a very big But! Let’s not be totally complacent and naive and expect that absolutely everyone in America is on board with this revolution. No doubt at this very moment there are very dark forces conspiring to turn back the clock. Whatever happens, the tide will not be turned back. There’s to be no going back to the way it was. There may have to be several attempts to make the idea stick, but stick it will.

Should Barak Obama be elected as the first black president of the U.S. that will achieve several things other than the barriers that he will have toppled. It will do things for women as well, especially if he does as is expected and asks Hillary Clinton to be his vice-president. It will significantly elevate the position of black women in the U.S. too, as his wife will become First Lady.

Personally, I would not advise taking Clinton on as VP, because that almost certainly would encourage a whole different group to go after him just so she gets to succeed him as president. I would recommend that he choose another black man, or woman. Too bad Condoleeza Rice is a Republican.

On a strictly political viewpoint, I personally do not envy whoever inherits the mess that the outgoing incumbent will leave. The task will not be an easy one. In fact it may be impossible for any future president for many years to come to be able to look good in office, such is the enormity of the task ahead.

So good luck to them all, and good luck to America. These are very exciting times indeed. Let the dream be realised, and America can finally say, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty we’re Free at Last!

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Managing Jealousy

Jealousy, known as The Green-Eyed Monster, is a major problem in relationships. No one is completely safe from its attack. It is very often at the heart of violence in the home, and has been responsible for murder, or what also might be deemed manslaughter.

Jealousy is essentially a function of insecurity. It cannot function where there is confidence backed up by reassurance. I have been its victim from time to time, but as I have come to understand what drives it I have been better able to manage it.

Jealousy, I believe, is a completely natural human emotion that goes right along with love. I’m thinking about the sort of jealousy that operates within a love relation, although it does exist in other forms, such as in business, the arts, etc.

Take two identical scenarios, one where confidence exists, (case A), and the other where insecurity rules the day. (Case B). Although jealousy affects men and women equally, let’s use for our examples a woman, and two men, and the situation is a social setting where we are supposed to mingle. At the end of the evening when the couple are returning home, in case A the couple compare notes about who they chatted with, even joking about the good looking guy who really took an interest in the woman. She reassures her partner that there is absolutely nothing to be concerned about as their love is strong and safe. He is secure and content.

However, Case B presents quite another scene. That relationship is weak; she’s an habitual flirt, although she has never followed up on any of the opportunities her flirting has opened up, and he’s deeply suspicious of her loyalty. He is more than likely to have a bout of jealousy that will lead to a fight. People get hurt in a situation such as this as it is natural to defend what we believe to be ours.

In uncontrolled jealousy, just walking along the street can set off an episode if another man so much as casts an admiring glance at his woman. In reality, he should be proud to have his own taste approved by others, but he is not likely to see it this way.

How do we go about evading jealousy? It’s probably a good idea to avoid an emotional relationship with super glamorous people, the so-called “Beautiful People.” As his or her partner you are in competition with that person who probably is in love with their own self. I think that’s called narcissism. Such people are high maintenance and are rarely worth the heartache they generate.

In choosing a partner if you place the greatest emphasis on integrity rather than looks you will be on the right track. Beauty can be more than skin deep, but taking care to ensure your beautiful person’s beauty starts from deep down is paramount. Then, you have to be sure to work for your place in your partner’s life every day. You can never take him or her for granted, although we do tend to get lazy, but that’s not a good idea.

So, in summary, if you have chosen well, and you are prepared to work for your partner’s affection, when someone else recognizes that you have a gem that they would like to have, you can relax in the knowledge that they are absolutely right, but the gem is all yours.

Copyright (c) 2008 Eugene Carmichael

The End of the World ?

A captivating headline, but is it justified and not just dramatic?

We seem to be watching the slow-motion meltdown of large economies. The cost of food is rising at an alarming rate. Natural disasters of extraordinary significance are happening with such regularity so as to become commonplace. Unnecessary wars are ongoing all around the globe to the extent that we have become numb. Terrorists are trying to kill us just because we go about our daily business, and individuals are committing some of the most mind-boggling anti-social acts.

The cost of oil has stood at a reasonable level for many years after once having climbed to unaffordable heights in the 1970’s. At a cost of between 50 to 60 dollars a barrel the world could cope. I remember $25 a barrel not such a long time ago. Now, the cost of oil on the futures market has hit $135 a barrel, and climbing. (I have had to revise the figure twice).

Meanwhile, in Europe, the euro, that once stood at par with the US dollar now costs $1.55 to buy one euro. Simply put, European manufacturers are finding it harder, or actually impossible to export their goods to one of the greatest consumer markets in the world. To make matters worse, even that economy, The United States of America, is in recession. That means unemployment on a grand scale for European workers is just down the road.

For the moment I want to focus on the effects of exorbitant oil prices. Oil is fuel, and here is a partial list of what is affected when oil is in short supply; is withheld from the market; and/or is just too expensive.

Start with the farmer producing our food. If he is not able to work the machinery to grow the lettuce and potatoes and corn, we will have a food shortage. The food that does get produced has to be brought to market, but if the same factors apply to transportation it won’t even be brought to the supermarket. That which does get through will be amazingly expensive and available only to a select few who can afford it.

Unemployed people will most likely not be able to afford to purchase food, so that will lead to theft and food fights.

Unemployed people will also not be able to afford to run their vehicles or to afford medical care. Even those people who are lucky enough to have jobs will have to car pool to get to work. The same scenes that we see in Africa of vastly over crowded trucks with people hanging on just to get a lift can become the norm in the large cities of the developed world. Is this so impossible to imagine? Think again!

The other thing that unemployed people cannot do is to afford to pay their mortgages. If you have never had your home repossessed there is no way that you, or I can imagine the horror of all that that entails. This must surely be the ultimate in personal tragedy other than the loss of life of a loved one.

All of the above constitute the set-up for the perfect economic storm of depression and simultaneous hyperinflation.

Oil companies’ profits can no longer be called profits. I think that the results that they are reporting fall outside the ambit of profits, and can probably be more properly compared to grand theft. But, this is the effect of the free market. The free market works along the base of supply and demand. Short supply and big demand equal high prices. Falling demand and high inventory equal falling prices. But, the catch here is that there is no real shortage of oil, simply a perception of runaway demand coming from emerging nations such as China and India, or so they say.

I must reiterate that the trading in oil futures takes place on the open commodity markets, and it is in the hands of such traders that the bidding up of prices into the stratosphere is being done, but, the sooner that bubble bursts, the better.

I am trying my best to imagine the ramifications of oil when the price hits $200 a barrel, as so many people expect it to do. We must also remember that so many of our everyday use products are oil based as well, such as plastics. Even families with both adults working are finding themselves just staying afloat. How will they cope in the coming disaster, possibly born of greed?

The cause of such high prices for oil can be debated forever, but the fact is that the consumer can only pay just so much before having to scale back or do without. I may be naive, but without sparking a round of hyper-inflation the cost of oil will have to come back down to earth before too long. The problem is that in the meantime the disruption to normal life will be severe.


Well, perhaps we had all better sit up and take note of what is happening on the world’s commodity markets because, as always, what happens there affects us all. Our only response under the circumstances at present is to reduce demand. We have to somehow turn our backs on the product. If we can reduce demand sufficiently, those who would see civilization turn on itself simply in the name of their own greed should instead take a bloodbath and lose their money. That would be justice.

Whatever little we can do, we should, because if we each do a little we all do a lot.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael